This recovery sucks and I sometimes wish I never started but I finally have something positive to say in this thread. Its this:
I have let my abuser define me for 42 years- "loser, worthless, pervert, asshole, nothing but a hole for him to dump in". I'M NOT GOING TO BE DEFINED BY HIM ANYMORE.
No, that voice will probably never go away completely, but I can tell him to shut the fuck up. I will define who I am now. No one else. Somebody remind me I said this next time I start to hate myself again.
"Stand, in the end you'll still be you,
One that's done all the things you set out to do.
Stand, there's a cross for you to bear,
Things to go through if you're going anywhere."Sly & the Family Stone