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#408403 - 08/30/12 07:09 AM
'MY SHAME'.
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Registered: 04/25/10
Posts: 89
Loc: Northern Ireland
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"I posted this poem on here a while ago"."This is part One of my trilogy of Abuse poems". "Its called 'My Shame'. I wrote it one day over thirty years ago when I was alone and very low and was ready to end my life. It is based on the words my Mother called my Abuse='MY SHAME'. 'MY SHAME'
"I used to laugh, have fun, games that I loved to play, that was until shameless, wicked men,took,my sweet innocence away".
"Oh,where do i begin,oh,where do i start,oh,to tell you about the pain, the hurt, the sadness upon my heart".
"Please stop, don't do that, "that's not how we play"! "That was the day those evil men took my innocence away".
"Don't they realise what they have done, to cause me so much pain? What was it, those evil, wicked men hoped to gain!.
"They took away my innocence, they took away the spark, and all I do now is cry and wake screaming in the dark".
"As I felt the pain upon this chair, I lifted my hands to god in prayer, I called out for god's love, was he looking down at me from above?
"My mother said it was my fault, I'm to blame, "and don't you ever,ever,tell anyone, ever about your shame".
"Please mother don't turn your back, please don't run, look what's happened to me, look what they have done".
"She looked at me with eyes so uncaring and cold, told me that it was my fault, that I was bold".
"Those shameless wicked men you hold mother in high esteem, look what they have done, look at me mother, don't you even care, and I'm you son?
"Why do these wicked shameless men run around happy and free? Don't people care what these evil people did to children like you and me?
"I look to the heavens look to the stars, I even look to god above, If for only one moment my mother would say, "Look that's my son, the one that I love".
This poem may not be re-posted without the prior consent of the original author Bla.
_________________________
May,life,light and love be ever with you.
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#408619 - 09/01/12 05:52 AM
Re: 'MY SHAME'.
[Re: bla]
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Moderator MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 2601
Loc: South-East Europe
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Oh boy, I've just read your other poems and now I've seen that thirty years past since things happen. I'm happy to know that you survived such cruel environment at your home How are you these days man? Pero
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#408976 - 09/04/12 09:43 PM
Re: 'MY SHAME'.
[Re: bla]
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Greeter MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 846
Loc: Pacific North West
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#409007 - 09/05/12 04:35 AM
Re: 'MY SHAME'.
[Re: bla]
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Registered: 04/25/10
Posts: 89
Loc: Northern Ireland
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Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean alot to me. I've just finished another poem and will put it on soon. I've my ups and downs and trying my best to come to terms with what happened to me as a child, sometimes its very hard, but I have to carry on, it's the only way for us all to cope with what happened to us all.
Bla.
_________________________
May,life,light and love be ever with you.
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#409008 - 09/05/12 04:39 AM
Re: 'MY SHAME'.
[Re: bla]
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Registered: 04/25/10
Posts: 89
Loc: Northern Ireland
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Thank you so much. I've read your story, And it is very sad indeed, I thought my abuse was bad, but it's nothing to what you went through.
Bla.
_________________________
May,life,light and love be ever with you.
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#409031 - 09/05/12 09:18 AM
Re: 'MY SHAME'.
[Re: bla]
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Greeter MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 846
Loc: Pacific North West
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Bla,
what a wonderful thing poetry is. It allows our inner child to connect with our adult and then SPEAK. While I myself appreciated so many things about your poetry, I also hesitate to post all of my feelings, fearing that some comment may be taken critically. (I also submit poetry from time to time and while I love praise, can only tolerate minimal criticism -yes It is a character flaw) So know that I wrote a paragraph of praise and comments, only to erase it and do it again...which became "good job". LOL
Thank you also for your so very kind words about my history. I also assure you that your abuse was horrific, damaging, and difficult to survive. When I first read Dragon's story and then later other men who survived tremendous physical and sexual abuse, I too felt like my abuse was insignificant to theirs. But let me assure you, and reassure you, that recovery is not about the events that happened to me, nor to you, but it is about the struggle we both entered into to become whole. Recovery teaches us to "IDENTIFY rather than COMPARE" so that we may help each other. We all come here to combat CSA, and if you have it, then you sir understand me...and I desprately need to be understood.
Love Geoffrey.
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#409795 - 09/11/12 03:00 AM
Re: 'MY SHAME'.
[Re: bla]
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Registered: 04/25/10
Posts: 89
Loc: Northern Ireland
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thank you.
_________________________
May,life,light and love be ever with you.
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#409796 - 09/11/12 03:07 AM
Re: 'MY SHAME'.
[Re: bla]
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Registered: 04/25/10
Posts: 89
Loc: Northern Ireland
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I have learned that the only way that we can really cope with what happened to us is too release the hurt,pain and anger that has built up within us,and if that means putting it down in writing and hitting out on the ones that caused it, then that is our write to do so, and no one should stop us from doing so. All to much today we hear of people's rights on this or that. now its time that abused people had the right to tell the world how we feel about what happened to us.
_________________________
May,life,light and love be ever with you.
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#409817 - 09/11/12 08:37 AM
Re: 'MY SHAME'.
[Re: bla]
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Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 2449
Loc: overseas
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well said - Geoffrey & Bla!
_________________________
They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me. Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long. But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked. Psalm 129:2-4
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