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#408787 - 09/03/12 11:54 AM Please help support men with small(er) penises
TheBobcatAgain Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 492
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
It's difficult to admit, but I have a small penis and it has always made me uncomfortable and ashamed - so much that I'm scared of being naked in front of anyone. (I'm still a virgin.)

How could I not be ashamed? I hear men brag about having larger penises, implying that they are not only better sexual partners, but more "manly" men.

And there are MANY references in movies and TV that "bigger is better". I even once saw a guy's T-shirt that read, "Mine is bigger". What is bigger, exactly? It doesn't need to specify. We can fill in the blank. And if having a bigger penis were a bad thing, would he wear a T-shirt openly proclaiming it? Doubtful. When was the last time you saw a guy's T-shirt that read, "Mine is smaller"? How is that supposed to make the guy with a small penis feel?

Society values a bigger penis...something I was born without, and can't do anything about. (Unless I want to get a penis-enlarger, or do surgery, etc.; all of which scare me because I've read horror stories about some that have gone wrong.)

I've been told "size doesn't matter" or to "like what you have". Then I ask the guy saying it what size his penis is, and the reply is usually "average" or "above average". Of course he can say those things; he doesn't have a small penis nor any idea how embarrassing it is to have one.

Showering or being naked with other men scares me badly; I know I would be ridiculed, teased, laughed at. And that hurts. It makes me feel like I don't belong. Like I'm not a man.

It really hurts to want to belong with your own gender so much that you cry because you're not accepted by them.

Knowing that I'm not alone would help a lot. Do any of my MS brothers out there have a small penis too? Can you understand my problems? Have you gone through them too? If so, can you please share what you've done to be accepted as a man, both by others and by yourself?

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and (hopefully) responding.

Your brother,

Bobcat

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#408793 - 09/03/12 01:10 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
peroperic2009 Online   content
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Registered: 10/09/11
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Hey Bobcat,
must say that you've made me laughing with your post and moved me in positive kind of way. I went off couple minutes ago and when I saw it I decided to log in back smile
I want to be honest completely so to speak, that is nature of this thread so let's hear naked true.
Well I'll say that I'm not quiet satisfied (this is realy embarrassing to talk about but I'll proceed) with my size/look in "regular state" you know, hm, just to give you picture sometimes I look like some sculpture from ancient Greek's times. And those men looked like nicely built but like with some deficiency "down there" smile
I'm deep down satisfied with myself, but could be in trouble if I would see that someone is making fun of me... So I'm also avoiding being naked in some public places but if some situation brings me I let my self to go with the flow. I was in army for couple of months, ten years aago, and we had to take public baths and I didn't make fuss of it even one guy made comment about me and actually came to me to give better look on my private parts. I just laughed and proceed... Sometimes I don't car about thinking of others but I'm not always with so strong will.
I was this summer in Germany at sea side and seeing many people (all families) naked on the beach with different ages, shapes and curves was very positive experience, I almost got will to strip myself too. There nobody seems to care and I like it so much!!!
Hang on brother, there is nothing to be shamed of being yourself!!!

Pero
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#408797 - 09/03/12 02:08 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Notreally Offline


Registered: 02/05/12
Posts: 15
Man, if there is something that bothers you that much about yourself I say wear it on your sleeve. Laughing at yourself is an important aspect, and display, of self worth.

You say you could be in trouble if somebody makes fun of you. Visualize being made fun of and saying some silly shit that shows how little of a fuck you give. That's a powerful display of self worth to show yourself and others.

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#408800 - 09/03/12 02:13 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Notreally Offline


Registered: 02/05/12
Posts: 15
like you could smile harmlessly and say

"hey, if you act nicer I can teach your wife how to do anal."

I don't know that was just the first thing i thought of.

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#408802 - 09/03/12 02:17 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:54 PM)
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#408804 - 09/03/12 02:25 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Notreally Offline


Registered: 02/05/12
Posts: 15
Okay, well I'll say it like this:

Just remember that your self worth is what makes you masculine and that it is within your control. It has likely been damaged but it is what you should always focus on in any situation where you feel like you aren't enough of a man, you shouldn't think I feel this way because my penis is small or because I'm short or ugly or stupid or ect. You should think how is my self worth failing me right now, and how do i show myself my worth while facing up to whatever makes me feel inferior. Sometimes putting on a brave face is just ignoring how you feel, but sometimes a brave face is the exact bravery you need.


Edited by Notreally (09/03/12 02:26 PM)

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#408816 - 09/03/12 04:31 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
dark empathy Offline
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Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1867
Loc: durham, north england
Bobcat, this was not an easy thread to read, but I'm glad I did.

Myself, i have no idea how big the size of my thing is compared to other guys for the simple reason that A, I would need to be standing pretty close to other guys to look at their things with my level of sight, (either that or looking at some pretty illegal images that I would not wish to see), and B, after far too many occasions being exposed in secondary school by girls and! boys, I find being in any way naked in a public place, even just having my shirt off triggering to the point of freezing, ---- so from my perspective the fact that you even get! naked anywhere but in your bedroom at home seems pretty courageous.

i love the idea of nudist resorts, or of swimming naked in the sea, ---- not for exhibitionism, or for seeing others, just for the shear pleasure in being myself, free, naked and utterly uncaring under the sun, but I just cannot do that.

Heck, if i see my own appearence, i constantly think I'm uggly,for all I can dress in clothes I like (I like wearing them, not seeing me! wearing them). It doesn't matter what I do, even if I've been doing intensive physical exercize or whatever, I just intrinsically cannot shift the belief that I am myself worthless and repulsive.

However, the solution i apply s simple. i'm me, piss off!

if I go to a swimming pool in my swim shorts and shirt, and someone comments, I would reply "I'm comfortable! like this" sinse whatever worthlessness I feel, I know that to be an incorrect opinion, the judgement of a bad critic.

I cannot yet do this with my own nudity, but I heave learnt to do it with my phsycial appearence. I! may think I'm uggly, but I know myself I'm not trustworthy, in fact just last week at music school i was playing Marco in the light opera the Gondoliers, one of a pair of gondoliers "so peerless in their beauty that they shame the summer skies" ---- and simulating all the confidence I could I dam well played! peerless in my beauty, indeed the action when I turned around to the female chorus, grinned, then combed my hair back with my fingers got a real laugh from the audience.

I agree, this is not easy. Worthelssness for whatever reason is a dam strong voice to silence, ---- but ask yourself this, if another man said he had a small peanus, would you see him as hatefull or ridiculous? ---- methinks not.

On the male sterriotype business, well again my answer there would be to ask why being a man is important?

I myself lift weights, run, have done rock climbing and skeeing, cycled the tour de france route and drink neet dark rum.

yet, I also like rose tea, musical theatre, prefer my flat to be clean, and get on extremely well with very young babies.

All of these I view as contingent facts about myself and unimportant. if someone said for instance I wasn't a "real man" because I don't drink beer and find football boring, ---- I'd say what is the point in being a "real man" sinse that is really shallow to me.

Equally, someone who walks around with a T shirt saying "mine is bigger" I'd just regard as a shallow, crass fool who planely has nothing on his mind but his own anatomy, ---- and obviously could not find a more interesting or individual T shirt to wear, which is really quite pitiful.

I know with society's sterriotypes of men as precisely such shallow, crass idiots it's extremely difficult to break the feeling, but I think it's more than worth it in the long run, just as I found myself that once I'd decided to treat my own feeling of worthelssness as utterly untrustworthy and therefore unimportant, it started to have far less power over me.

I hope some of these ideas are helpfull, and as I said, from my own paralysis by fear, I already regard where you are with this as a major step forward, (I know comparisons with others are not wise, but perhaps recognizing your own progress here might be helpfull).

Luke.

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#408818 - 09/03/12 05:07 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
versailles Offline


Registered: 08/30/12
Posts: 6
Loc: Scotland
I can't really relate to feeling embarassed about my penis (it's average), but I thought I'd try offer a bit of input anyway that you might find helpful.

To be honest, the guys I've been with who've had bigger than average cocks have seemed much more insecure about theirs than the guys I've met with smaller ones. I've felt that most of those guys I've seen have needed me to acknowledge their size as if they were trying to prove something. You'd think that having a big one would make a guy more confident but from what I've seen, they seem to obsess about it more than most and it kind of kills the mood.


Edited by versailles (09/03/12 05:07 PM)

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#408819 - 09/03/12 06:01 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5773
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
There's an old expression:
"It's not the size of the magician's wand, it's how he uses it"

Most men have some complex about the size of their penises. It probably comes from the times when we see the penis of our father or maybe an older brother. We feel really inadequate. It's compounded for men who have been sexually abused, whether by males (whose penises are bigger because they are older) or females (whose vaginas are bigger when they are older).

In addition, when we look at our penises when going to the bathroom, we see something smaller than it really is. Take a look at your penis in front of a mirror. It will look a bit larger than the one you are holding in your hand at the toilet.

In addition, when you look at commercial porn (or even "amateur" porn), the males are chosen for their size. Makes one feel a bit inadequate? Even the "amateur" ones are probably above average. I doubt if someone would star in such a video if he felt below average.

Even if you are a virgin (and there's nothing wrong with that, as Seinfeld used to say), you should not be worried about your size, whether smaller or average. I know it's hard to not worry, but the act of sex is tough enough without extraneous crap rattling around your brain.

Relax!

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#408821 - 09/03/12 07:48 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
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Registered: 12/28/09
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:55 PM)
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#408824 - 09/03/12 08:09 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:55 PM)
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#408827 - 09/03/12 09:36 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
onlyakid Offline
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Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1536
Loc: New Jersey
While I would say that while flaccid my penis is small when erect it is average or maybe just below average. My being overweight does probably conceal a bit. So for me yes the idea of someone seeing my penis when it is not erect does cause me anxiety. Don't know what to say but I do understand.
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#408851 - 09/04/12 12:04 AM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
dark empathy Offline
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Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1867
Loc: durham, north england
during my abuse, i still remember trying to conceal the size of my peanus especially when errect.

nobody made comments about size, but i hated the fact that my erection was visible and not under control. I would've given anything for a smaller, or at least less visible peanus, indeed I remember trying to frantically put books or bags on my lap to conceal the fact sinse I was so scared what would happen if anyone around me saw what my stupid organ was doing, despite the fact that my mind was utterly and completely absent and focused only on being unnoticed.

As I said, i have no idea what the actual size is compared to other blokes, nor do i care, but getting an erection anywhere but in private, on my own in bed at night is still something that I really am afraid of.

indeed, any talk about peanus's generally apart! from on this site I'd view as extremely triggering because of my over all genophobia, even in an academic or supposedly neutral way. i remember particularly in psychology learning freud's theories was extremely difficult, and I still become uncomfortable if in course of my academic research someone start on about those ridiculous, and to my mind utterly insane freudian theories (how anyone still gives them any credit at all i don't know), ---- now if we're talking about obsession with peanus size there! was a man with real problems laugh.

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#408868 - 09/04/12 02:33 AM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: Obi]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
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Edited by Life's A Dream (09/04/12 08:23 AM)

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#408869 - 09/04/12 02:36 AM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: dark empathy]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
Yeah, same with me with body memories. I hate how I get erect and I don't even want to. It's, at best, annoying. I hate it. I always hated being male for the fact I can't conceal when I'm aroused (like I fucking want to be?!). You know?

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#408890 - 09/04/12 11:53 AM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
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Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1249
Loc: kansas
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:56 PM)
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#408892 - 09/04/12 12:24 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Lancer Offline
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Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Wow guys I totally relate on being invalidated, sometimes by people who should know better. @Obi...thank you for expressing your outrage.

To draw a comparison, those of us with depression will understand this. Depression is not a case of the blues. It's not a matter of "getting over it." Yet, I had a T once tell me, "You know what your problem is? You don't do anything until you're backed into a corner!"

I walked out and, in my state of mind at the time, it was lucky I didn't off myself.

So, yeah Obi and others, keep doin' what you're doin', sayin' what you have to say.

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#408894 - 09/04/12 12:31 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
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Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1249
Loc: kansas
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:56 PM)
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#408896 - 09/04/12 12:40 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Notreally Offline


Registered: 02/05/12
Posts: 15
Nobody told anyone to relax, but sorry if I offended you.

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#408897 - 09/04/12 12:40 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
peroperic2009 Online   content
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Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3566
Loc: South-East Europe
Obi I hope you are not relating to my post?
I'm sorry if you are feeling so down. Of course that more or less we all have issues with confidence and masculinity, and this post is in a way about that. It is difficult issue and it is not possible to "get over it".
I just find kind of funny idea that we with not so big penises connect in such way here smile
Hang on brothers you you are not alone!

Pero
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#408898 - 09/04/12 12:41 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: Notreally]
Obi Online   content
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Loc: kansas
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:56 PM)
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#408899 - 09/04/12 12:43 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: peroperic2009]
Obi Online   content
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Registered: 12/28/09
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:57 PM)
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#408901 - 09/04/12 01:09 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
bodyguard8367 Offline
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Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
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OK,

I always felt weird about it. When I asked people I was intimate with as an adult I didn't get the validation I sought. I became overweight and began to worry about it being "concealed" in part at least. I really don't think any guys grow up thinking they are "hung". Even the boys with ample size down there still are insecure about the size, shape, and "look" of their genitals.
They probably thought that size matters and that it means much more than a simple statistic. But...in reality...I have had sex with several men, both of a smaller than me variety, and of a larger than me variety. (mostly smaller than myself) I enjoyed each and every one of these, and wouldn't let the memory go by choice of any of them. Hell, I worked hard for every orgasm, and don't want to give any of them up. So....even though I know from my own personal experience that size doesn't matter, that simple measuring offers a simple statistic, I still want to have a big one if there is a choice. So...what about it...what kind of support can we give to each other? Accept that your body is not ever "wrong"...that your body is always "right", that no matter what you were taught growing up, that no matter what that dumb stunt they pulled, that it really doesn't mean anything about your body. That Abuse doesn't relate to our bodies it relates to the person who has oportunity, desire, and capability to abuse us. It is ALWAYS about them and our bodies don't really matter to them. I know that my perp abused an underdeveloped 8 year old boy with no pubic hair and a small underdeveloped penis. The thoughts I learned were not facts...even though my young self felt they had to be. I did not realize then that my penis size just had nothing to do with why the perp targeted me for a sexual conquest. It was all about availability, opportunity and capacity for abuse....all things that had something to do with them. NOT ME.

G

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#408903 - 09/04/12 01:40 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
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Registered: 12/28/09
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:57 PM)
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#408905 - 09/04/12 01:58 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1369
Loc: New England
My this thread certainly attracted alot of attention. I have always been one to feel mine wasnt big enough, and compare negatively to others in the shower room. I have felt ashamed and embarrassed by it. But every mouth and vagina I've had it in...well its fit just fine. I try to focus on the pleasure it gives me (and my partner), and not on how it looks compared to Johnny Wad. Note its taken me some years to get to this point, and even though i have no sex partner currently, and I'm no longer going out for 15 minute BJ's in the park, It no longer is a constant worry.
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#408912 - 09/04/12 02:25 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: Jude]
Obi Online   content
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:57 PM)
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#408916 - 09/04/12 02:31 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
F.A. Offline


Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 229
Loc: United States
Big or small, straight or bent it comes the focus of our shame and the focus in our abuse. It draws them it keeps them and it betrays us. No wonder we develop issues around it. Our molesters are older in most all cases so we compare our not mature penis to them and forbid they be hung that makes it worse we will never measure up in out minds then being in the role of submissive we come to understand we can not give pleasure because we are to small to please so that is why we are used as submissive lovers. I have had my issues and still do but for the most part I have come to be a peace with it after 1/2 a century.
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#408917 - 09/04/12 02:38 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: F.A.]
Obi Online   content
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:57 PM)
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#408918 - 09/04/12 02:39 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
dark empathy Offline
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Registered: 11/26/07
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I hope obi and bobcat my post wasn't one of those which you felt as dismissive, it certainly wasn't intended to be, just to offer some general thoughts on the feelings of worthelssnes that have helped me in the past with similar, ---- though i fully agree not the same issue, and also to actually applaud anyone who can be naked in front of another person at all, sinse to me that seems a major achievement whatever! you look like.

I can however answer your question. Would I want to go through life with a larger or smaller peanus, sinse I can't invisage any circumstances other than some sort of medical examination where anyone but myself would be looking at my peanus, I don't give a dam! attracting a mate? wouldn't the mate have to see the thing in some detail for that?

Even if I ever come to the point of voluntarily employing my peanus for it's secondary function, ---- well I'd hope that i could do as boddyguard does.

Is this ignoring the issue? i'm not sure, I'm just trying to give an honest response to a difficult question which I hope is in some way helpfull.

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#408956 - 09/04/12 07:40 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Still Offline
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Registered: 02/16/07
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My abusers were older boys. When I was 7, they were 12. One was in the midst of puberty and huge IMO. I never even knew that happened. I thot it was him...and that I was phenomenally small.

Later, all of them were "huge," and I was still phenomenally small. It was only with true age-peers that I saw I were exactly like me. We were ALL the same size via typical exposure like covert lake-swimming, YMCA changes, etc.

Jr High for me was the eye opener. Gym class! 1/2 of all the guys in my graduating class went through the change. And obviously, there were mega differences. To make matter even worse, I was the LAST (as in very last) boy in a class of 350, to go through puberty (according to asshole jocks), at 15.5 years old.

NO ONE, regardless of credentials, will ever convince me that size is not a major, nuclear-grade, point of hurt for many of us. Wishing it away with a word like "relax," seems like a true effort to antagonize and belittle.

No one comes here to be belittled. Its the LAST thing I ever expect to ever happen here.

To belittle a man with a torturous childhood and traumatic experiences surrounding an element is beyond the beyonds of cruelty! "Relax!" I picture a guy polishing off a beer and side-tossing it on the ground...walking away...saying "relax."

In verbal conflict resolution classes, we all learn ABOUT charged words and WHAT they are...and WHAT they can do in volatile and/or sensitive context. "Relax," as a command-word, can be dismissive and antagonizing. It invalidates.

Invalidating any survivor where anything traumatic is involved is a hostile act!
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#408966 - 09/04/12 09:22 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:58 PM)
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#408981 - 09/04/12 11:33 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
CloudyFalls Offline
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Registered: 07/18/12
Posts: 165
Loc: Ohio
Wow it takes a lot of courage to put this insecurity out there and ask for advice. Well, technically I'm average, but a lower average. It's been bothering me for years though. My abuser was my cousin, he was 3 years older and I was always smaller than him. He hit puberty early, and I hit it late. I'm sure there's a lot of psychology that plays behind that, and why I'm so insecure about my size. For awhile, I couldn't even get an erection because I was so embarrassed about my size compared to my abuser because he was pretty big. I mean like some of the guys said, it's not just so easy to laugh it off. It's serious, it's embarrassing and from societies view, it's our manhood. I've never been made fun of for my size, but I know without a doubt that if I ever was it would be traumatizing, because it would only validate my insecurity of not being big enough. I have trouble during sex and foreplay keeping hard and staying aroused, even staying focused just because I have that thought in my head. "Am I big enough? What does my partner think?" It makes me anxious and insecure.
_________________________
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

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#408982 - 09/04/12 11:36 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
SamV Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5925
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
It is very good to have you back on the boards, TBA, I have missed you fellow survivor.

Click to reveal.. (This may trigger)
"I undressed in a hall, I walked in the dark of night holding the hand of a naked man, I raced around a bonfire naked, yelling at the top of my voice, "Look at me, I am your EQUAL"! I stood in a circle in a room, I walked in the daylight with 20-30 other men, naked." I really did.

This was a retreat experience. It was an exercise in understanding the equality of men, that I was a man among men. We were instructed to look, to peer, to examine with our eyes the size, color and shape of other men's penises, to know that this is not a sexual symbol that dominates, not a part of the body that is to be compared, measured, associated or determined by the "swagger" to be of significance, or conversely, to be of insignificance.

It is what is, an organ. It fills with blood, it's muscle is activated or de-energized. When the penis is cold, it retracts to the warmth of the body. When the body is stressed or anxious, fearful or otherwise negatively affected it can retract, like our arms and legs. There are several states of arousal, porn, images and bragging don't count, pictures and video are taken of those guys penises because they are huge, like magazines that portray skinny women to a woman, images of disproportionately large, engorged penises make average, below or above average guys feel sad and ugly.

Recovery teaches us that we were attacked sexually and that is the focus of our obsessive pursuit. Abuse emasculates males. We may have began at that point to feel inferior and then we focused on that, driving ourselves to distraction over the abuse lesson that destroyed us in our own eyes. Recovery teaches us that we were attacked, assaulted and abused and that we may never know what motivated the criminal, and that our focus is to heal from the abuse, not ask "why" as if we could ever comprehend such madness, nor would we want to, for in understanding the attacker, there is nothing of value for us.

The support I offer to those men, as I was, obsessed with their member is to focus on the destroyed child left behind. Love and cherish the child when he screams, hindered by the abuse and our own dissociation, disbelief and incredulity of that act. Open yourself to the child, be patient, he has something for you, something you left there, and you need it. It is the part of you that makes you whole now; courage, hope, imagination, beauty and he is trying to give it to you, but he is impulsive, rude or timid. His timing is terrible. So it must be that we are patient, we are inviting, we are the comfortable ones he comes to, and to us, he gives those pieces that helps us heal, to understand ourselves and be satisfied with us and others.

If this does not help, maybe offends, then know that this was offered and it can be dismissed.

Sam


Edited by sasuva (09/04/12 11:45 PM)
_________________________
My SENSITIVE Difference

"Lets talk about that."

Go Get A Hug: HUG>porn

*When provoked* "Anyone holding back his sayings is possessed of knowledge. (Proverbs 17:27)"

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#409055 - 09/05/12 12:10 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1249
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:58 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

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#409068 - 09/05/12 01:58 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Size really doesn't matter. I'm 6" erect. Not big, not small. A woman's vagina only has feeling the 1st inch or so approx. so it really doesn't matter unless you hit her cervix (ouch!). The guys that are huge actually hurt most women (including those women in porn because they've said so) because they don't know what they are doing or, worse, they don't care. Women never said anything about my size (or the times I didn't get it up), they talked about my oral skills. Oral can be a lot more fun satisfying a woman because most don't orgasm with straight vaginal sex in the first place. If you want to drive a woman crazy in bed, it's the clit not the vagina that will do it. If you're good at that, they really won't care what size you are.
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#409071 - 09/05/12 02:05 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1363
Loc: California
I respect and admire your bravery for bringing this topic up and for addressing it head on.

Thank you, Bobcat, and Robbie and Obi.

D
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

-- I must remind myself that sugar is my enemy. I can't control my sugar consumption and sugar makes me mentally unstable. I'm reminding myself (because I forgot again).

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#409077 - 09/05/12 02:20 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1249
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:58 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#409080 - 09/05/12 02:33 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Guys,
What does a small penis have to do with recovering as a male survivor? I mean that is like saying " well I am going bald or getting a pot belly or I have big feet ". These are traits we are born with or get as we grow older. I respect eberyone and their opinions but I just don't see why on this site where people are recovering from getting abused and some by penises that we talk about the size of you penises. I just had to state this point. I just don't undrarnd how it helps anyone in their recovery from CSA. Forgive my tact or lack there of but I had to say this. Peace and best wishes to everyone.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#409081 - 09/05/12 02:37 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
I support any man on this site wanting to heal an get better from CSA. Small penis should be something you take up with a doctor. The public comes into MS to see some issues and what do they see. " support small penises". Wow
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#409083 - 09/05/12 02:44 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1363
Loc: California
Hey dude,

We come here to be heard, to voice our concerns, to be acknowledged and to be supported.

We also come here to listen, to share, to validate, and to support.

I think that taking a stance of "no reply" if you have nothing valuable to contribute is a good stance.

Several people are baring their naked souls and vulnerabilities because they're seeking answers and support - the last thing they want is judgment. You may not understand it, but to call it into scrutiny because you don't understand it is, I think, unsupportive.

D
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

-- I must remind myself that sugar is my enemy. I can't control my sugar consumption and sugar makes me mentally unstable. I'm reminding myself (because I forgot again).

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#409084 - 09/05/12 02:50 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
peroperic2009 Online   content
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3566
Loc: South-East Europe
Brothers please try being supportive and sensitive when you see that some of us is struggling. We are not machines but humans with feelings, so if someone has some problem give him support.
I don't care for any public opinion (we are in 21 century) but rather for people in need including people who feel low because of their appearance.
We survivors need to work very hard to get some confidence beside additional problems like here is described and obviously on empathy and understanding others...
I like you guys no matter on penis sizes (this sounds weird smile ), you are true men for me because you are fighting so strongly, give support to others here, and share your experience, you have my hat off!

Pero
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My story

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#409086 - 09/05/12 02:52 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Should be bumped to off topic.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#409087 - 09/05/12 02:53 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1249
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:59 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#409089 - 09/05/12 03:08 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
I was not trying to offend an knew I would get jumped on. Just being honest. I didn't disrespect your issue it just has nothing to do with being a victim of CSA no more than me having bad smelling gas does. I am really sorry if I offended fellas. It just seems focusing on a penis does not help CSA victims.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#409092 - 09/05/12 03:30 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: Magellan]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
My response is valued. It is from a survivor who feels that seeing a penis thread (everyday and people getting mad at responses) is making me in no way get better. I feel sympathy for this problem, however as I stated, I don't see how it helps or has anything to do with CSA. And is in the wrong thread is all. I never said at any point that I don't care about his feelings. So I said what I had to say and have my response. Y'all can pile on me if you like. It is regressing me to have to see a penis thread. I was abused by men. So whatever
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#409096 - 09/05/12 04:03 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Take what you like and leave the rest.

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#409097 - 09/05/12 04:18 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: Obi]
Notreally Offline


Registered: 02/05/12
Posts: 15
Quote:
Mods,

Please delete this thread.


This kind of comment does more to create a hostile environment than the word relax.


Edited by ModTeam (09/05/12 10:08 PM)
Edit Reason: Removed potentially embarrassing information at user request

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#409183 - 09/06/12 08:17 AM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
ModTeam Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 689
Quote:
At this point site management feels this topic has gone beyond its position of usefulness, and at this time this thread will be closed.
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Private messages sent to this account are checked irregularly due to personnel and time constraints. Please send messages to one of the moderators for the forum that is concerned by user name, or if there is no named moderator, send a PM to any moderator.

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