Newest Members
JohnWC, KKumar, J44, Anura, reynel5
12420 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
almostdonew/life (39), barelysurviving (45), bigbob20 (69), billyp (65), Shawv (70), TheTwoOfUs (43)
Who's Online
5 registered (watzupwitu, focusedbody, Anura, 2 invisible), 38 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12420 Members
74 Forums
63774 Topics
445361 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 4 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >
Topic Options
#408966 - 09/04/12 09:22 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1341
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:58 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

Top
#408981 - 09/04/12 11:33 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
CloudyFalls Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/18/12
Posts: 169
Loc: Ohio
Wow it takes a lot of courage to put this insecurity out there and ask for advice. Well, technically I'm average, but a lower average. It's been bothering me for years though. My abuser was my cousin, he was 3 years older and I was always smaller than him. He hit puberty early, and I hit it late. I'm sure there's a lot of psychology that plays behind that, and why I'm so insecure about my size. For awhile, I couldn't even get an erection because I was so embarrassed about my size compared to my abuser because he was pretty big. I mean like some of the guys said, it's not just so easy to laugh it off. It's serious, it's embarrassing and from societies view, it's our manhood. I've never been made fun of for my size, but I know without a doubt that if I ever was it would be traumatizing, because it would only validate my insecurity of not being big enough. I have trouble during sex and foreplay keeping hard and staying aroused, even staying focused just because I have that thought in my head. "Am I big enough? What does my partner think?" It makes me anxious and insecure.
_________________________
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

Top
#408982 - 09/04/12 11:36 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
It is very good to have you back on the boards, TBA, I have missed you fellow survivor.

Click to reveal.. (This may trigger)
"I undressed in a hall, I walked in the dark of night holding the hand of a naked man, I raced around a bonfire naked, yelling at the top of my voice, "Look at me, I am your EQUAL"! I stood in a circle in a room, I walked in the daylight with 20-30 other men, naked." I really did.

This was a retreat experience. It was an exercise in understanding the equality of men, that I was a man among men. We were instructed to look, to peer, to examine with our eyes the size, color and shape of other men's penises, to know that this is not a sexual symbol that dominates, not a part of the body that is to be compared, measured, associated or determined by the "swagger" to be of significance, or conversely, to be of insignificance.

It is what is, an organ. It fills with blood, it's muscle is activated or de-energized. When the penis is cold, it retracts to the warmth of the body. When the body is stressed or anxious, fearful or otherwise negatively affected it can retract, like our arms and legs. There are several states of arousal, porn, images and bragging don't count, pictures and video are taken of those guys penises because they are huge, like magazines that portray skinny women to a woman, images of disproportionately large, engorged penises make average, below or above average guys feel sad and ugly.

Recovery teaches us that we were attacked sexually and that is the focus of our obsessive pursuit. Abuse emasculates males. We may have began at that point to feel inferior and then we focused on that, driving ourselves to distraction over the abuse lesson that destroyed us in our own eyes. Recovery teaches us that we were attacked, assaulted and abused and that we may never know what motivated the criminal, and that our focus is to heal from the abuse, not ask "why" as if we could ever comprehend such madness, nor would we want to, for in understanding the attacker, there is nothing of value for us.

The support I offer to those men, as I was, obsessed with their member is to focus on the destroyed child left behind. Love and cherish the child when he screams, hindered by the abuse and our own dissociation, disbelief and incredulity of that act. Open yourself to the child, be patient, he has something for you, something you left there, and you need it. It is the part of you that makes you whole now; courage, hope, imagination, beauty and he is trying to give it to you, but he is impulsive, rude or timid. His timing is terrible. So it must be that we are patient, we are inviting, we are the comfortable ones he comes to, and to us, he gives those pieces that helps us heal, to understand ourselves and be satisfied with us and others.

If this does not help, maybe offends, then know that this was offered and it can be dismissed.

Sam


Edited by sasuva (09/04/12 11:45 PM)
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

Top
#409055 - 09/05/12 12:10 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1341
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:58 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

Top
#409068 - 09/05/12 01:58 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Size really doesn't matter. I'm 6" erect. Not big, not small. A woman's vagina only has feeling the 1st inch or so approx. so it really doesn't matter unless you hit her cervix (ouch!). The guys that are huge actually hurt most women (including those women in porn because they've said so) because they don't know what they are doing or, worse, they don't care. Women never said anything about my size (or the times I didn't get it up), they talked about my oral skills. Oral can be a lot more fun satisfying a woman because most don't orgasm with straight vaginal sex in the first place. If you want to drive a woman crazy in bed, it's the clit not the vagina that will do it. If you're good at that, they really won't care what size you are.
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#409071 - 09/05/12 02:05 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1408
Loc: California
I respect and admire your bravery for bringing this topic up and for addressing it head on.

Thank you, Bobcat, and Robbie and Obi.

D
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top
#409077 - 09/05/12 02:20 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1341
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:58 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

Top
#409080 - 09/05/12 02:33 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Guys,
What does a small penis have to do with recovering as a male survivor? I mean that is like saying " well I am going bald or getting a pot belly or I have big feet ". These are traits we are born with or get as we grow older. I respect eberyone and their opinions but I just don't see why on this site where people are recovering from getting abused and some by penises that we talk about the size of you penises. I just had to state this point. I just don't undrarnd how it helps anyone in their recovery from CSA. Forgive my tact or lack there of but I had to say this. Peace and best wishes to everyone.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#409081 - 09/05/12 02:37 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
I support any man on this site wanting to heal an get better from CSA. Small penis should be something you take up with a doctor. The public comes into MS to see some issues and what do they see. " support small penises". Wow
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#409083 - 09/05/12 02:44 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1408
Loc: California
Hey dude,

We come here to be heard, to voice our concerns, to be acknowledged and to be supported.

We also come here to listen, to share, to validate, and to support.

I think that taking a stance of "no reply" if you have nothing valuable to contribute is a good stance.

Several people are baring their naked souls and vulnerabilities because they're seeking answers and support - the last thing they want is judgment. You may not understand it, but to call it into scrutiny because you don't understand it is, I think, unsupportive.

D
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top
Page 4 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.