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#408898 - 09/04/12 12:41 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: Notreally]
Obi Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1359
Loc: kansas
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:56 PM)
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#408899 - 09/04/12 12:43 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: peroperic2009]
Obi Offline
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Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1359
Loc: kansas
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:57 PM)
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#408901 - 09/04/12 01:09 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
OK,

I always felt weird about it. When I asked people I was intimate with as an adult I didn't get the validation I sought. I became overweight and began to worry about it being "concealed" in part at least. I really don't think any guys grow up thinking they are "hung". Even the boys with ample size down there still are insecure about the size, shape, and "look" of their genitals.
They probably thought that size matters and that it means much more than a simple statistic. But...in reality...I have had sex with several men, both of a smaller than me variety, and of a larger than me variety. (mostly smaller than myself) I enjoyed each and every one of these, and wouldn't let the memory go by choice of any of them. Hell, I worked hard for every orgasm, and don't want to give any of them up. So....even though I know from my own personal experience that size doesn't matter, that simple measuring offers a simple statistic, I still want to have a big one if there is a choice. So...what about it...what kind of support can we give to each other? Accept that your body is not ever "wrong"...that your body is always "right", that no matter what you were taught growing up, that no matter what that dumb stunt they pulled, that it really doesn't mean anything about your body. That Abuse doesn't relate to our bodies it relates to the person who has oportunity, desire, and capability to abuse us. It is ALWAYS about them and our bodies don't really matter to them. I know that my perp abused an underdeveloped 8 year old boy with no pubic hair and a small underdeveloped penis. The thoughts I learned were not facts...even though my young self felt they had to be. I did not realize then that my penis size just had nothing to do with why the perp targeted me for a sexual conquest. It was all about availability, opportunity and capacity for abuse....all things that had something to do with them. NOT ME.

G

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#408903 - 09/04/12 01:40 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Obi Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1359
Loc: kansas
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:57 PM)
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#408905 - 09/04/12 01:58 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1570
Loc: New England
My this thread certainly attracted alot of attention. I have always been one to feel mine wasnt big enough, and compare negatively to others in the shower room. I have felt ashamed and embarrassed by it. But every mouth and vagina I've had it in...well its fit just fine. I try to focus on the pleasure it gives me (and my partner), and not on how it looks compared to Johnny Wad. Note its taken me some years to get to this point, and even though i have no sex partner currently, and I'm no longer going out for 15 minute BJ's in the park, It no longer is a constant worry.
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#408912 - 09/04/12 02:25 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: Jude]
Obi Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1359
Loc: kansas
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:57 PM)
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#408916 - 09/04/12 02:31 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
F.A. Offline


Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 229
Loc: United States
Big or small, straight or bent it comes the focus of our shame and the focus in our abuse. It draws them it keeps them and it betrays us. No wonder we develop issues around it. Our molesters are older in most all cases so we compare our not mature penis to them and forbid they be hung that makes it worse we will never measure up in out minds then being in the role of submissive we come to understand we can not give pleasure because we are to small to please so that is why we are used as submissive lovers. I have had my issues and still do but for the most part I have come to be a peace with it after 1/2 a century.
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#408917 - 09/04/12 02:38 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: F.A.]
Obi Offline
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Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1359
Loc: kansas
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Edited by Obi (09/05/12 09:57 PM)
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#408918 - 09/04/12 02:39 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
I hope obi and bobcat my post wasn't one of those which you felt as dismissive, it certainly wasn't intended to be, just to offer some general thoughts on the feelings of worthelssnes that have helped me in the past with similar, ---- though i fully agree not the same issue, and also to actually applaud anyone who can be naked in front of another person at all, sinse to me that seems a major achievement whatever! you look like.

I can however answer your question. Would I want to go through life with a larger or smaller peanus, sinse I can't invisage any circumstances other than some sort of medical examination where anyone but myself would be looking at my peanus, I don't give a dam! attracting a mate? wouldn't the mate have to see the thing in some detail for that?

Even if I ever come to the point of voluntarily employing my peanus for it's secondary function, ---- well I'd hope that i could do as boddyguard does.

Is this ignoring the issue? i'm not sure, I'm just trying to give an honest response to a difficult question which I hope is in some way helpfull.

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#408956 - 09/04/12 07:40 PM Re: Please help support men with small(er) penises [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6540
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
My abusers were older boys. When I was 7, they were 12. One was in the midst of puberty and huge IMO. I never even knew that happened. I thot it was him...and that I was phenomenally small.

Later, all of them were "huge," and I was still phenomenally small. It was only with true age-peers that I saw I were exactly like me. We were ALL the same size via typical exposure like covert lake-swimming, YMCA changes, etc.

Jr High for me was the eye opener. Gym class! 1/2 of all the guys in my graduating class went through the change. And obviously, there were mega differences. To make matter even worse, I was the LAST (as in very last) boy in a class of 350, to go through puberty (according to asshole jocks), at 15.5 years old.

NO ONE, regardless of credentials, will ever convince me that size is not a major, nuclear-grade, point of hurt for many of us. Wishing it away with a word like "relax," seems like a true effort to antagonize and belittle.

No one comes here to be belittled. Its the LAST thing I ever expect to ever happen here.

To belittle a man with a torturous childhood and traumatic experiences surrounding an element is beyond the beyonds of cruelty! "Relax!" I picture a guy polishing off a beer and side-tossing it on the ground...walking away...saying "relax."

In verbal conflict resolution classes, we all learn ABOUT charged words and WHAT they are...and WHAT they can do in volatile and/or sensitive context. "Relax," as a command-word, can be dismissive and antagonizing. It invalidates.

Invalidating any survivor where anything traumatic is involved is a hostile act!
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