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#391598 - 03/31/12 06:11 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: peroperic2009]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
So you can grow to love someone even if your not attracted to that person? Maybe it's me but I thought that while they don't have to be attractive to everyone, you atleast must be attracted to them?
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#391604 - 03/31/12 08:30 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Off course that you have to be attracted to someone for love, but love can happen even otherwise too,life is not that simple smile .
I've just tried to encourage you to go with the flow without some deep thinking. Actually to avoid thoughts like you have just posted: hard questions on love, attraction etc...
Couple of us tried to tell you that no matter if something is called "date" or whatsoever that should be fun and you are in charge there, so you (and other person too) are the one who is deciding would that be just small talk,¨opportunity to get know someone new or would you bee trying and asking for something more. Don't be pushy expecting too much. Let it easy, let that be just something like long coffee break. And if someone ask you, just tell that you have been at date wink . One date usually doesn't relate to love questions, there has to be more of those smile!
You need any experience to get some boost of your self worth, try to think like that!
I was on several dates like that with girls that weren't attractive to me, but we went out and have some good time. One or two those fell in love and asked for something more and I wasn't experienced enough to see that. We were repeating those dates and those girls become very pushing to me and at the end we had to split. So if you will find some girl unattractive just try to avoid spending time with her further and that would be message....
Please shut off those worries smile
You can do it man, I need to remind you that now we have here even more supporters for you, MS has now 9785 Members and they all are supporting you in this, don't let us down, you can do it smile!
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My story

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#391676 - 03/31/12 08:20 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: peroperic2009]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Pero,
I wish it was that simple for me, dont think about it just do it. But nope, not my style. I have to know what the plan is. Im not sure about this, will she think this is more than it is? I dont want to hurt her feelings. I dont want it to be awkward at work either.

Maybe this is a good opportunity, maybe its not. I dont know. I dont think "any experience" would really be a boost to my self-worth. I know your just trying to help but I dont know if this is the help I need. Then again, maybe it is.

I'm confused
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#391679 - 03/31/12 08:34 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Sorry Kid if I've sounded pushy to you!
Take it easy, if this is not good time it will be in some future smile!
I'm also like you sometimes and it is much easier to help someone than to do same thing by self.
But try to be affirmative by making some plans and fulfilling them, knowing that you are capable of many good things would boost your confidence...
Fight for yourself smile !
_________________________
My story

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#408695 - 09/02/12 07:19 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
She's now switching shifts to the day shift and while I might see her from time to time, it won't be as frequent. Maybe this makes things better in case it gets awkward if I decide to go out for a date and things go wrong
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#408704 - 09/02/12 11:34 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
Blessedcurse Offline


Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 93
Don't know how it works for you but I have discovered many times that people I did not find physically attractive become more and more attractive the more I like their personalities. It's like the visual stuff kind of merges with the personality for me. I start seeing things I didn't see before, like the posture, the way of movement, the eye color, the special way the person smiles. Gradually over weight becomes nice curves and irregularity in a face becomes interesting caracter...

I can also say this works both ways. People I find attractive at first gradually become less physical attractive when I don't like their personalities. Beautiful long hair starts to seem like a barbie doll, a muscular body starts to look uninteresting...

Just saying. Maybe you could get to know her as a friend and see where it leads. I have never understood the dating thing, sitting there with a person you barely know, both of you having expectations and hopes. Friendship has allways been the better start for me. Also, if you are friends, you will more easily know if she is the type that can handle casual or not.

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