Might be misnumbered. Seems to be an interesting way of looking at things. I'm using my abusers as the people I'm talking about in mine. Post it when I'm done. I don't see why a spouse/SO of a CSA victim can't use it either. Just put the them as the one you're talking about. You could certainly find out a lot. smile
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Treatment Steps
Once the above orientation and preliminaries are done, the following techniques would be done in the order given:
Tell me something you have done that was right.
Repeat this question until the client reaches an end point or has no more answers.
Remember a time that you did something well.
Repeat this question until the client reaches an end point or has no more answers.
Tell me something you like about yourself.
Repeat this question until the client reaches an end point or has no more answers.
Note: While it is possible to use this entire protocol on many people in the client's life, the above three questions would only be asked of the client the first time using the protocol. If the client has already done these treatment steps on someone else and a different person is now being addressed, start at Step 4

Do each of the following steps as two-part loops until the client runs out of answers or exhibits an end point. If the client runs out of answers for one part of a two-part loop, keep asking the other part until the client runs out of answers or reaches an end point. In other words, you may need to continuously repeat only "Tell me something you don't like about_____" until the client runs out of answers for that part of the loop before repeating the first part of the loop or the client exhibits an end point.


1. Tell me something you like about _______.
Tell me something you don't like about _______.

2. Tell me the problem with ______.
Get the idea that you want to be over this problem. Tell me about it.
Get the idea that you want to keep this problem. Tell me about it.

Repeat a. and b. as a two-part loop until the client reaches an insight or runs out of answers.
Repeat step 5 and do a. and b. on the new problem.
Continue to repeat step 5 until the client has no further answers for step 5.

3. How are you and _______ similar?
How are you and _______ different?

Note: If there is more than one abusive person in the client's life, do step 6 on each abusive person. If there are other victims in the client's life, do step 6 on each victim. If there is more than one abuser and/or victim in the client's life do step 7 comparing each to each. If there are no other abusers or victims in the client's life go to step 8.

4. Recall a good time with ________. (abuser or victim).
Recall a bad time with ________.

5. Recall a good time _______ had with you.
Recall a bad time ______ had with you.

6. Recall a good time ______ had with another or others.
Recall a bad time ______ had with another or others.

7. Recall a good time you had with yourself because of ________.
Recall a bad time you had with yourself because of _______.
Do each of the following two steps as four-part loops until the client reaches an end point or runs out of answers.

8. Recall a time you felt ______ was more powerful than you.
Recall a time you felt more powerful than ______.

9. Recall a time _______ seemed more powerful than others.
Recall a time you felt powerful because of ______.

10. Recall a time that ______ caused you to doubt your perception.
Recall a time that you caused ______ to doubt his perception.

11. Recall a time that _____ caused others to doubt their perception.
Recall a time that you doubted your own perception because of ______.

Sometimes a crucial issue with the guilt connected with the abuse is having felt good. Do the following step as a two-part loop.

12. Recall great sex with _______.
Recall unpleasant sex with _______.

Note: Step 14 should be adapted to an appropriate question for children who were sexually abused.
Is there anything you've done that you wouldn't want ______ to know about? If so, ask for all of the details. Repeat the question until there are no more answers.

Address the following as two-part or three-part loops. Do not repeat steps 16 through 22 when using this treatment protocol on another person in the client's life. If the client has already done steps 16 to 22 when addressing someone else in their life, skip these steps and go on to step 23.

13. Recall a time you felt abandoned.
Recall a time you felt secure.

14. Recall a time you craved attachment.
Recall a time you were unable to attach to someone.

15. Recall a time you attached to someone.
Recall a time another craved attachment.

16. Recall a time another was unable to attach to someone.
Recall a time another was able to attach to someone.

17. Remember a time when you felt rejected.
Remember a time when you felt accepted.

18. Remember a time when you rejected another.
Remember a time when you accepted another.

19. Remember a time when another rejected another.
Remember a time when another accepted another.

20. Remember a time when you rejected yourself.
Remember a time when you accepted yourself.

Do the following as a two-part loop:

21. Get the idea of feeling connected to _______.
Get the idea of feeling separate from _______.

Repeat the following steps until the client can't think of another way in which the abuser has put her down:

22. Think of a way ______ has put you down.
Tell me about it.

23. Get the idea now that _______ now holds the opposite view.
Picture _______ telling you that. Tell me about it.


Do the following as a two-part loop:

24. Get the idea of ________ remaining a part of your life. Tell me about it.


25. Get the idea of _______ being out of your life. Tell me about it.

If the abuser/victim is no longer part of the client's life, ask the following as a two-part loop:

26. Recall a time before ______ was in your life.
Recall a time after ______ was in your life.

At this point, ask the client for some traumatic event connected with the abuser or victim that holds their attention. Address this event with an approach that integrates traumatic memory. Ensure to ask the client for any traumas in the same vein, but from all causal directions. For example, if the client brings forward an incident wherein she was beaten, the next trauma to ask for is any incident when she beat another. Asking for any incident that contained another beating another would follow this. The last CD would ask for any time she beat herself, which could take the form of self-mutilating.

Another important step to add for both victims and perpetrators is run to Traumatic Incident Reduction (TIR)) on any incident from the point of view of the other person. For example, if a victim has addressed a beating received, she would then process the incident from the point of view of the person who beat her. Or if a perpetrator admits to and addresses an incident where in he abused another, after bringing that incident to an end point, it would again be addressed from the point of view of the victim. Adding this dimension of awareness is very helpful in untangling a trauma bond [Long, 1999.] Continue asking for and resolving traumatic events until a client has no more he or she wishes to address.

Please note that step 27 is by no means intended as an instruction as to how to alleviate trauma. It is only offered as an additional instruction as to how to fully address traumas to those clinicians that are trained in an approach that extinguishes trauma. Repeat the above steps (excluding those that should not be repeated) on any other abuser and/or victims in the client's life and then do the following:

Fully explore the areas of relationships, partners, past and present expectations by discussing the following with the client: Tell me what you envisioned as your ideal mate and relationship when you were younger. What are the traits you wanted in a partner? What would a good life with someone consist of?

27. What role did your upbringing or culture have in forming those ideas? What do you want now in a partner? Describe your ideal mate and relationship. How is what you envisioned similar to what you have (had) now and how is it different?

Discuss the idea of intimacy with the client. Find out what they consider it means. A suggested resource for this step is Sheehan's "Treating Intimacy Issues of Traumatized People" [1994], which is published in the book, "Handbook of Post-Traumatic Therapy", by Mary Beth Williams [Editor].

Note: Step 29 should be adapted to whatever relationship the abuser and the client were in.
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Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"