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#408429 - 08/30/12 12:37 PM question aout protection?
tina Offline


Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 12
My husband has been having sex hookups with many men over the past 5 years that i know of. He mostly would engage in oral with annonomous men but had on ongoing relationship witha guy for 4 years. He said he only engaged in anal sex with this man because he felt he was "safe". The man is gay and used protection the first few times with my h but my h told him he did not "need that" and he wanted it as they call it "bareback". I am just wondering if he says he is "straight" and there was prior "csa" involved why would he consciouly not use protection? I feel that he could have met another married guy (in the same situation) and payed for hotel rooms(once a week like he did) and the safety factor may have been mentally better. I still am confused why someone would jeprodize there life(even when offered protection) and there family.

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#408436 - 08/30/12 01:01 PM Re: question aout protection? [Re: tina]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3610
Loc: South-East Europe
Some survivors are jeopardizing their own lives and lives of their families by risky behavior such as anonymous and unprotected sex. It is difficult issue to understand. But in many cases it is not consciously driven but rather by compulsion and self-destructive forces left after abuse. Maybe it could be said the riskier the better, sometimes there is no limits there...
Pero
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My story

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#408643 - 09/01/12 11:30 AM Re: question aout protection? [Re: tina]
tina Offline


Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 12
I here where your coming from but my Husband had the choice to use a condom between them. The other guy used it a few times and said "I USE PROTECTION" then my husband told him "you dont need that" and the guy asked hm if he was "clean" Husband told him yes and they stopped using them. My husband told me he liked not using it because he wanted the whole experience and got turned on by orgasm in him. I still find it hard to believe it was not a "conscious choice because in my mind it was.


Edited by tina (09/01/12 11:31 AM)

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#415512 - 11/06/12 03:23 PM Re: question aout protection? [Re: tina]
greeneguy63 Offline


Registered: 11/06/12
Posts: 2
Loc: Knoxville, TN
Oh Tina, are you still with your husband and is he still having sex with other guys?

If so, my heart weeps for you!

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