I have been through the steps in AA, but I am now revisiting step 3 because I realize I have a lot of anger towards God. Like where was he during my CSA? Why didn't he rescue me?

I hear all sorts of trite sayings: "God has a wonderful plan for your life" "God was there weeping for you" "Put your life and your will in God's hands"

But how do I do that with a God who abandoned me at the most critical point in my life? Does anyone have an answer?

I had the same struggle. So I went back to step two to redefine my HP so that I could no longer be angry at god. It worked.

I redefined HP to exclude it from a deity that meddle in daily human affairs, and made it the divine intelligence of the cosmos that can speak to me through the chorus of the voices in Alanon.

My recovery started taking giant leaps soon after that.

D

all i can tell you for sure is - when that happened to you, he wasn't preoccupied in rescuing me!



yeah - those cliches drive me crazy, too.



i struggle with that, too, Gary, and have for years. i am stubborn enough not to give up on God - but am very disappointed in his performance. i have read books and talked to wise counselors and have not found an answer that satisfies me.

i wish i could help - both for my sake and yours. there are some threads in the Spirituality forum that deal with this issue. i am not sure i will ever understand it in a way that makes me feel better emotionally - even if i get an answer that makes rational sense. but i no longer feel the anger that i once did. and i am learning to live with the ambiguity of not having all the answers. i think that might be what faith is.

hoping you find a peaceful resolution,
Lee

I guess my problem really is that I BELIEVE in God. I made a commitment to Christ as a young man. Now I just can't reconcile what happened to me with a God who says he loves me, yet stood by while I was abused as a boy.

i hear you.
me too.

HI Gary

Yeah went through my childhood being angry with God, I cried out to him and yes I heard all those clichés.
Then I started thinking of all those times that I drove my car drunk as a skunk, the times I sat on my bed with the barrel of a gun in my mouth, all the times that I pushed things to the edge and took unnecessary risks because I hated my life, the times when I was driving drunk with my family in the car.
Those times He was always there for me.

As the time has gone on in my life, now that I am much older,I understand why those things were allowed to happen to me,because now I can use my experience and help others, If I had not had those horrible experiences I would never have gone out and helped other me recover from their pasts.

Thats the way I look at life now


Heal well
Martin

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