I've always had depression and anxiety but about a year ago I visited a few dominatrixes and ive felt really messed up since, is this common

Hello Lee,

Welcome fellow survivor to these safe, healing halls here in MaleSurvivor. The answers are coming.

When survivors of sexual abuse re-enact the scenes they remember of the abuse, it creates a present day vivid awareness. It is if it happened today, and we are small, helpless and victimized. A strong authority figure that demands submission and complete control would certainly file in that category.

The recovery path will consist of facing those memories, being overwhelmed, afraid, sad and angry of the events, and then slowly, patiently, with empathy and kindness, begin to help the hurt self to find relief. You need relief from the things you experienced.

The experiences here of being in relationships with rescuing, controlling, abusive, demanding personalities abound in the posts and replies. It is common for a survivor to be in a relationship, or several and at some point realize this is not good for him or worse, exacerbating the victimization.

Ask questions, your mind is already exposing you to the abuse and it's harmful effects, so get the answers you seek. Find the ways to love, comfort and support you through healthy experiences and mature growth in personality and understanding.

The answers are coming.

Sam

It is common to seek to re-live the abuse in one form or another, and it is common to feel messed up afterwards.

It's time to find a good therapist in your area to talk about things. I'm starting back with a new therapist after Labor Day.

I see you're new here... Look around, read some posts (but not too many at once), and start replying to some of the other posts in here. It will start to make sense and you'll know you're not alone.