I share your pain,I share your anger and I most of all share your not knowing.
When I was nine and being abused by the christian Brothers I asked that same questions,"Where was God,when I needed him most","Where was he,when these so-called men of God,hammered six-inch nails into the back of my hand while they were rapeing me,and saying,"now feel the pain that Jesus went though because of sinners like you","Where was God,when they rammed a crucifix up my back passage,and they said,"You've just been F***** by jesus and laughing when they did that".
Indeed,"Where was God,when I told my Mother about what happened,and she stood by her church and beieved their lies and told me never to speak of ,what she called,"MY SHAME".
At that age I also asked time and time again,"God,"Where are you,"Come down from heaven and destroy they evil people".But it never happened.
Many,many years later,I found out about God's real love and found that God does not interfere in the actions of what we do,He gives us fee will to choose between good and evil,But when we come face to face with him,We will all be judged on our actions and our deeds.
Hope this brings you some comfort.
May,life,light and love be ever with you.