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#408270 - 08/28/12 11:07 PM mask - unmasked
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3512
Loc: somewhere in Africa
I wear a mask,
a stony easter-island face,
rigid, rough, unyielding,
opaque and brittle,
giving no hint of
thoughts, feelings or reactions.

It has been carefully sculpted
to conceal, to hide, to divert
the curious, prying eyes
of those who would try
to dig beneath the surface,
to penetrate my shell,
to find out what and who
is really inside.

There are several of us:
One is the toddler,
abandoned, lost, alone,
who left his father
in a cemetery
and still cries for Daddy.

Then the little boy,
kindergarten age,
confused and troubled by the differences
between the step-father’s body and his own,
craving a father’s touch –
but not that way.

After that, the adolescent,
bullied and beat up,
taunted and titillated,
mocked and molested,
wondering why he is
the scape-goat of the school.

Next in line – the teenager,
a fragile, tender knot of emotions,
a contradiction even to himself,
smouldering and whimpering,
trembling at the touch of
kindness turned cruel.

Later – the newlywed groom,
a storm of attraction and repulsion,
paralyzed in the conflict,
torn by self-doubt and unmet expectations,
unable to understand himself,
petrified by his past.

Last… the bewildered man,
wandering the dark labyrinth,
confused by the tear-ravaged faces,
deafened by the silent wails
of pain and loneliness,
trying to join hands with enigmas
who evade him and huddle together,
lashing out in anger,
at the one who seeks to
embrace and mend.

And all the while –
the mask never slips or cracks or changes;
no one knows the difference.
The mask has become me.

- lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#408621 - 09/01/12 07:13 AM Re: mask - unmasked [Re: traveler]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3621
Loc: South-East Europe
This is so great poem Lee...
You succeed in showing us your mask, I think that I've seen at least one crack there, are you sure that mask never slips smile ?

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#408692 - 09/02/12 05:18 AM Re: mask - unmasked [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3512
Loc: somewhere in Africa
pero - you see the real me here. i am so glad to have a place to be totally known and unafraid. but in "real life" i don't dare let anyone see beneath it except my T and partial glimpses to my wife.
lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#408975 - 09/04/12 10:41 PM Re: mask - unmasked [Re: traveler]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 08:23 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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