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#407677 - 08/23/12 04:43 PM Introduction
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
Hello.I first heard about MS about a month ago from my T.I have been registered and visiting the site fo a couple of wks now.As I have read the many postings and a few personal stories I sometimes felt overwhelmed by the honesty,openess a
nd encouragement being shared.I should keep this brief.
I was orphaned when I was 2 days old.At the age of 3 I was placed in foster care with a family.They had one child of their own,a son.My half sister was placed in the same family with me about a year later.What followed was years of abuse.Violent physical beatings,cruelty,psychological abuse and sex abuse.Any real life never happened.I existed to survive.One of the postings I read said"What did I lose"?When their son molested me any hope of dignity was gone.I am older than most using this site.From the age of 7 I knew anyone could do whatever they wanted to me and it mattered to no one.I was alone worthless and defenseless in the world.From that time on I was a fugitive always on the run.I am getting help now and I am going to thank my T for suggesting I visit MS. Thanks for Listening.

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#407686 - 08/23/12 05:01 PM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
So sorry to hear that you went thru this tragedy... Good news is we are all here for each other and help each other heal bro... Welcome and sorry we meet like this..Thanks for coming and sharing


Edited by Country (08/23/12 05:12 PM)
Edit Reason: typo...of course
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#407687 - 08/23/12 05:01 PM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
also glad that therapist are sending people this way...I emailed my new T today and gave her the web site...Maybe she will read some stories
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#407689 - 08/23/12 05:07 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Country]
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
The thearapist that I am seeing now is the first councilor that have met that has been able to understand where I am coming from.

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#407690 - 08/23/12 05:09 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Country]
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
Thanks Country!

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#407693 - 08/23/12 05:14 PM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
That is a def plus bro... I hope mine does when I meet with her GFriday..I am soo excited about getting a new therapist.. Positive changes in my life and they have been so awesome..I hope you feel the same
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#407706 - 08/23/12 06:49 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Country]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brother, Sentry.

Welcome to MS. Here you will receive compassion, understanding, hope & love. From your brothers (fraternal) & friends (in pain).
We all have been there. We have been into the depths of our soul & hell too.

We will hear your cries. We will help in your fears & share in your tears.

You already know about the emotional roller coaster of emotions. Hang on for the ride of your life.

Glad that you are in therapy. Glad that you are here with your fraternal brothers. We all travel this road arm in arm shoulder to shoulder. When one of us falls, another brother will come and take our hand and continue on our journey to recovery & healing.

My brother, Sentry, wishing you well in healing. You are on your way here too.

Great courage to have made your first post. real proud of you.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#407713 - 08/23/12 07:53 PM Re: Introduction [Re: petercorbett]
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
Thank you very much for your support Pete

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#407721 - 08/23/12 08:26 PM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3319
Loc: back in the USA
sentry - welcome!

you might be surprised to know how many of us have been around the block a few tmore times than most.

it's never too late to heal.

hope you'll find the respect, sense of worth and acceptance here that you deserve.

lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#407740 - 08/23/12 09:43 PM Re: Introduction [Re: traveler]
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
I hope so! Thanks Traveler

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#407753 - 08/24/12 01:32 AM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1341
Hi Sentry,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

I hope you know that you are not worthless and that no one has a right to do with you as they please. It is difficult not to believe those messages when they have been pounded into you.

The messages you were told are lies.

You are a valuable person.

The only ones lacking dignity and value are those who harmed you.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in September.

I am glad you took your T's advice and decided to see what MS has to offer.

Again, welcome to MS.




Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#419862 - 12/22/12 03:48 PM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
finallyopen Offline


Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 69
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Hi Sentry
Just wanted to say hello again, haven't seen you out and about in chat.
Hope to see you soon and that all is going well at your end.
_________________________
My Story : http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...4645#Post434645

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#419911 - 12/23/12 09:07 AM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
Hey Finally.
I am still here and surviving.I ment to PM you for sometime now.I have been around just kind of quiet I guess.I sometimes I think I learn more from the postings here then from any other resourse.I was in the chat room last night(it was packed).I have learned that I am not alone or living in a vaccum since coming here to MS.I can't tell you how many times I have read a posting from another survivor and it is like a page right out of my life and what I go through.Fear seems to be my biggest struggle.Someone shows an act of kindness or pays a compliment and my reaction is all wrong.I can't trust it and I slip into this protection mode. Like what is the real motive. I guess lack of trust goes right along with fear.It is like always being ready to run or fight for my life( hense the name Sentry).I know I push people out of my life when they seem to get to close. I can't seem to help it. The fear is just to strong. My life has always been living or existing on the run. I still see my younger self standing there in the shadow alone facing away from the me.I can't seem to find the right words to say and I am deathly afraid to approach him.I don'tknow if that makes an sense to you.
A while ago you mentioned that you had been going to some support groups over the years in Southern Ont.I was wondering if you could share more info about them. You can PM if you would rather.
Since being here at this site I have already found tremendous relief from the terrible isolation I had been living in for most of my life.Christmas has always been a time of year I have dreaded.I would rather be in Iraq.It dawned on me yesterday that allthough I am not to the point of celebrating I am more stable than then I can remember being. I believe it is due to people here like yourself Finally that check on others and offer some support. There have been a few other suvivors her that have done so much to help me!!! Please accept my gratitude. I want so much to pay it forward.
Sentry

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#419923 - 12/23/12 11:00 AM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
Sailor John Offline


Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 307
Loc: Newfoundland & Labrador
Hi Sentry,

It is never too late to start the healing process. I am in my late 50's and I waited over 40 yrs before I finally admitted that I needed help for both the emotional, physical and sexual abuse that I suffered - then only when I was very deeply depressed.

There will be many detours on this road but remember that all detours lead back to the main road, some faster than others.
I'm personally just getting over a bad time, a detour that I thought would never end. The detour DID END though after about 6 months.

I actually think I'm better for having to take this detour because we all learn from our mistakes/problems by facing them demons and stareing them down.

You can do it. There are so many people before you that have worked or are working through these demons. There are many on this site ready, willing and able to help you.
_________________________
I will mourn the teenager I never was and strive to make that dot of light way out in the far reaches of the end of the tunnel turn into a bright sun.

WE ARE NOT VICTIMS. WE ARE THE SURVIVORS!!!

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#419934 - 12/23/12 12:43 PM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 413
Loc: USA
Hi Sentry, I am so glad you found this site. There are many stories here and mine shares some things in common with you. I grew up in a world of verbal, physical and sexual abuse that started for me mostly around age 5 or 6, but I had been beaten already before that time. I understand your pain in existing to survive, as I believed the same thing. I also fully believed growing up that the only thing I would ever be "good" at was providing sex mostly for adults.

I am with a T now, and that along with the support I've found hear has helped me to start the process of being free from all the hurt and from the lies I learned to believe. This is an awesome place with great people and resources. So welcome brother! Know this, you were never defined by the evil that came into your life as a child. You have value as a man, and I know you can find help here to sort all of the junk that comes from abuse. You are with friends, and we care.
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#419936 - 12/23/12 01:56 PM Re: Introduction [Re: sentry]
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
Thank You Buff!!!

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