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#410554 - 09/18/12 07:37 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
So true Lee....Thanks bro
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#410558 - 09/18/12 08:32 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
I just don't think that people understand , as survivors , the effect words can have on us. Or maybe it is just me. I mean seriously, I am at a great point in my life where I feel like God is healing me and moving in me. I have started feeling more and more worthy thru bible reading and worship. I just feel so much worse when I get depressed because I know that I am worthy but it is just that I still need my worth to be seen. I don't even know if this makes since. Oh well I guess I till need some work on this and I know the One who can fix it. I wouldn't wish depression on anyone. I feel as a Christian and a survivor that I am getting a double dose or attack from the evil.

Does anyone get headaches when they are depressed ? Sorry for troubling y'all with my crap as I know y'all have your own issues.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#410669 - 09/19/12 10:35 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
I know what you mean.

You have to remember that we are still human even though we have the power of God in us. It is still human nature to want others to respect us. (I'm equating needing our worth to be seen with respect - could be wrong) The bible says 'Husbands love your wives' because women 'need' love - it says wives respect your husbands' because men 'need' respect. That is how God made us!!! I wouldn't feel bad about wanting to feel respected.

I probably have depression sometimes. My wife has depression and the meds have helped a lot.

She often gets a headaches when she is depressed. It makes her really irritable and not much fun to be around. She knows it is happening but can't seem to change it.

Do you feel that your depression stems from CSA or is a separate issue?
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#410671 - 09/19/12 10:38 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
May be from some kinda PTSD from the wreck when I was 16 and my GF was killed. Could be from CSA. U nailed it tho , it stems from my sense of self worth. Just one negative thing and trigger depression. Especially when it is someone close.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#410674 - 09/19/12 10:47 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3449
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Originally Posted By: Country
I just don't think that people understand , as survivors , the effect words can have on us. Or maybe it is just me.
...
Does anyone get headaches when they are depressed ? Sorry for troubling y'all with my crap as I know y'all have your own issues.


Country - it's true - anyone who has been subject to abuse is more sensitive to anything that reminds them of abuse - whether it is others' words or actions - even if it is unintentional - or less serious than the way we percieve it. we magnify it it our own minds and react as if it was a major event. lilke we are re-enacting the reactions to past events that were really bad. and no - it is not just you.

on headaches - i used to get terrible migraines that would completely incompacitate me. that was at a stage when i was not depressed - or if i was i disn't act like it or know it. Then i got severely depressed - and aat that stage i don't remember the headaches being as bad. i think the buried trauma was having different effects at different periods of my life. since i have become aware of the abuse and started to deal with it - both the headaches and the depression have been less severe. i have been moody and withdrawn and edgy and irritable - and all kinds of other varieties of no-fun-to-be-around - but not the nearly comatose unresponsive depression that i was in before.

sometimes headaches have a physical cause - might be worth checking with a doc.

and one more thing - don't apologize. this is what we are all here for - to support one another.
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#410989 - 09/21/12 07:48 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Lee
Thanks for your comments and advice. Means alot. More than you know.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#410991 - 09/21/12 07:54 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
We are so strong. We are survivors. We survived something that is so horrific that they lock some people away for life. We have triggers yeah, but we also have a desire to get better when it would be so much easier to just say screw it and quit. We face soooo many fears and yet we still make it. We down ourselves alot and for what? We are amongst some of the elite people here. People that not only are healing but along the path of healing are trying to help others. Wow. That is so unselfish. I think a great deal of everyone here an can only stand back and say , men keep your chin high because you truly help someone wether you know it or not. Yeah ain't where we need to be but we ain't where we were either. Bravo to all the men and families on this site who help and are getting better.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#411055 - 09/22/12 12:06 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
what if we as survivors and a country got as fired up about helping CSA victims as we did about college football?? Wow
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#411172 - 09/23/12 08:44 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Went to the therapist after church. We talked about EMDR and started finding my " safe place". Of course I chose the outdoors where I feels so at peace. I think this is really going to be a good thing for me to do. She said I would be a little tired after the sessions. We shall see an I will post after the next session. She wants to start with something small then escalate to the CSA.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#411378 - 09/25/12 04:39 PM Re: To be honest with you. My thoughts [Re: Country]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Maybe be triggering for some. ....



Truth is in my opinion , others don't care about our struggles and what it does to us when they say something hurtful or remind you of your past failures. Truth is we have probably hurt them too with a past act. Truth is that they are ready to forgive you as long as it is on their own terms and conditions. They just don't realize that their words are sometimes so strong and hurtful that it triggers some of the worst thoughts and depression. Or maybe they do realize it and just don't care. To say that we are getting better and they are proud of us and then rip all that out with a few words is brutal. Never mind the fact that we usually beat ourselves up over things way too much anyway because most of the time we feel so unworthy. Nevermind that,, go ahead and shove that dagger in. Yeah it feels good. Nevermind the fact that you have made a complete 360 degree change fr the better. All that is nothing. I mean I probably wouldn't like me if I was them either. So why should I expect to me special now ?? I am nothing and never have been but I am better than I use to be. To hurt me is nothing new, hell I have been in pain my whole life. All of this for what?? What good comes out of it? Just when we start to feel a little self worth, wham, we get smack right back to reality. They know what we were so they think that is who we are. Can I blame them? Nope. Can I stop it? Nope. Is it at all helpful? Nope. So what good comes out of it? Just to know that they humiliate us and hurt is?? I guess for what I have done in my past I deserve to be humiliated and hurt and depressed. I guess that is the only way that they can heal. Might as well I mean it ain't like I am gonna think I deserve anything better anyway. I think about as much of myself as thu do. Nothing. Always have and always will. I hope they feel better about what was said because if I am gonna feel like trash of te earth I sure hope it was worth it and they feel better. Whatever who cares anyway. It is what it is and that is all it ever will be. Screw it. It don't even matter anyway.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
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