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#407054 - 08/17/12 04:24 AM a [Re: CloudyFalls]
lbcali1978 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/12
Posts: 217
A


Edited by lbcali1978 (04/16/13 06:04 AM)
_________________________
They said

Come home

I said

I'm confused and alone

They said

We understand

I found out they don't

I'll walk the path exactly how I've always done it

Alone

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#407065 - 08/17/12 09:11 AM Re: Why didn't you just tell? [Re: CloudyFalls]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1716
Most do not realize many times we were conditioned not to tell--if we did tell the perp told me I would be taken away and no one would believe me or if I did not do what he wanted he would go after my brother (and I fear he still did hurt him)or my family would be hurt. I wanted to tell but feared he would act on his words and sadly, I feared no one would believe me. Today I have heard several say it is not true but then there are the truly good people who stand by me and understand--You will find some people with good hearts.

I also believe once you tell someone they are not helping you heal they should have the decency to back off and realize they are causing further damage to you. It may be best to ignore them.

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#407091 - 08/17/12 12:23 PM Re: Why didn't you just tell? [Re: CloudyFalls]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 07:59 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#407358 - 08/20/12 10:56 PM Re: Why didn't you just tell? [Re: CloudyFalls]
CloudyFalls Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/18/12
Posts: 169
Loc: Ohio
Thank you guys for the support, I can relate with a lot of your stories. This whole thing just sickens me, I'd say it's one of the hardest things to deal with, this question, but the truth is, everything about what happened is the hardest thing to deal with. I tell myself, "It's over, it's done. I'm okay now, it's not happening anymore, and never will again." But it happens every time something reminds me, and it haunts me everywhere everyday. It replays in my mind and in my dreams. I wish it was as simple as saying it's done and gone and just living today in the here and now.
_________________________
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

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#407369 - 08/21/12 12:43 AM Re: Why didn't you just tell? [Re: CloudyFalls]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 410
Loc: Louisiana, USA
It wasn't even on my radar screen until I was 51. Until then, I never really understood why my main goal since I was 12 was to die. People are just plain ignorant sometimes. And the answer to your godmother's question was, "No, I really could not have told."

God bless.
_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#407371 - 08/21/12 12:52 AM Re: Why didn't you just tell? [Re: KMCINVA]
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 279
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
good stuff! I like what you guys wrote hir.

Goran

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#407417 - 08/21/12 01:05 PM Re: Why didn't you just tell? [Re: CloudyFalls]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 862
Loc: washington
Like I always say...My dad never molested me, but set the perfect stage for my uncle to operate.

He was a rager. So much aggression and conflict there wasn't really a healthy forum
(or time) to disclose something such as this.

Also, like I told my mom, my uncle was a master manipulator. It wasn't always easy and sometimes pain was involved, but he made me feel special, he made me feel like it was almost normal...

I the end,I had no real defense, with such an immature mind.

I guess, I told in my own way, but you had to be listening...


Problem Child (AC/DC)

island
_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#407473 - 08/21/12 08:34 PM Re: Why didn't you just tell? [Re: CloudyFalls]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
I got to say, I waited until I was 37 to say something.. I have asked and cried over this... Why didnt I say something?? Why O' why didnt I ? I guess because I was so young that I was scared too and then later I was ashamed of it.. The main thing is that I finally did say something and started healing
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#407478 - 08/21/12 08:59 PM Re: Why didn't you just tell? [Re: CloudyFalls]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 616
Loc: VA
A shrink told me that "these things" (CSA episodes) typically blow up when "we" are in our late 30's or early 40's. I was 42. It's aggravating that we can't go back and tell somebody about it when it happened, but that's a grown-up's regret, not a child's fault. Peace!

John

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#417745 - 11/30/12 09:40 AM Re: Why didn't you just tell? [Re: unhappycamper]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 916
Loc: New York
RIIIIISE FROM YOUR GRAAAAVE

My T has said based on what I do recall and my behavior / body language in discussing it that the perp must have threatened me and I just don't remember. The whole aftermath is a blank; my clothing was drenched in water and unwearable (why I was undressed in the first place) but obviously somehow I got through the rest of the school day (somewhere, doing something) and was seen at home by my parents without raising suspicion. Maybe (pure supposition, no evidence) he left me there naked and took my clothes to a laundromat - only would have taken 40-ish mins to dry them and I sure would have stayed where I was put since I was naked in the school bathroom stall.

Later it didn't feel real or like it had really happened to me instead of being something I'd just watched happen. And by the time I was sure it was real, 4 years later, there were other crisis issues hurting my family and I didn't want to make them sadder.
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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