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#407130 - 08/17/12 07:24 PM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 707
Loc: NJ
So, the C word is not control, it's COPING. What fun.

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#407131 - 08/17/12 08:02 PM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
Valkyrie Offline


Registered: 04/27/12
Posts: 167
Oh, let's not kid ourselves - it's both!

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#407133 - 08/17/12 08:10 PM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 707
Loc: NJ
Ok, if lying makes someone feel in control. Does lying work as a coping mechanism? Can you numb out on lying?

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#407134 - 08/17/12 08:27 PM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
Valkyrie Offline


Registered: 04/27/12
Posts: 167
Compulsive lying? Of course!

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#407135 - 08/17/12 08:28 PM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1710
Caring-about one self and the value they offer.

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#407137 - 08/17/12 09:20 PM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 707
Loc: NJ
I HOPE AND PRAY EVERYDAY FOR THE C WORD TO BE CARING. Please make it so.

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#407311 - 08/20/12 01:03 PM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
northernflicker Offline


Registered: 08/19/12
Posts: 88
.

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#407374 - 08/21/12 01:09 AM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 410
Loc: Louisiana, USA
I think Obi makes sense, but one other thought that goes along with your examples is this. When you buy a shirt, pick out a tutor, etc, you are not really doing something directed at him or who he is. When you talk about behavior, though, you are talking about him. If he is anything like me, he probably hears you saying he is a bad person. That will elicit a negative response.

Just a thought, because I could be dead wrong. Unfortunately, your boundaries are the right ones, so stand your ground (And make sure you have a Louisville Slugger for the times he gets obstinate. Just kidding).
_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#407440 - 08/21/12 04:19 PM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 707
Loc: NJ
I've missed you Jim.

I have become acutely aware of how he hears EVERYTHING as a criticism. I seriously had NO IDEA. But I have to say, those things are criticisms so he's right in a way. But he needs to know this, and so does every other survivor on this entire website:

WE WOULD NOT STILL BE HERE IF YOU WERE A BAD PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#407504 - 08/22/12 02:51 AM Re: The C Word [Re: Esposa]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 410
Loc: Louisiana, USA
You are right. We all need to know the truth. Both sides of it. Thank you.
_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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