I want to believe that I am being irrational. I want to believe in a higher power. I recognize that I suffer from PTSD and anxiety issues and it clouds my judgement and I am trying to heal and move on.

But what about my friends & family? Do I share with them all my improbable worries and fears? They are a part of my life, we are connected...I struggle with knowing what worries I have are reasonable and what worries I have are a product of my anxiety issues. How do I heal if I don't let things go? How do I heal if I am constantly dwelling on past issues and constantly bringing up "possible, although unlikely" effects of my CA issues?

And then on the other hand, don't the people in my life have a right to know who I am and who they are letting into their lives?

Do I have true faith and move on and try to be happy or am I just being selfish and a coward and not being honest with people about all my various issues and how those issues may effect their lives because I am in their life....

It is the truth that will indeed set you free brother . No matter how painful you can not step forward unless you are walking in truth. No matter what you must be truthful with yourself and with others otherwise you will always be deceiving not only yourself but others and no progress can be made .

You have to discover what truth is all about so you can operate out of it live in it and it will be extremely painful at times dealing with the real you the reality of things . This is out of the comfort zone . Discovering who we are without all the drama and chaos we are accustom to and excel in is a process and it is dam hard . Live in an uncomfortable truth or live in a comfortable lie the choice is yours the choice is up to all of us . Good luck

Steve,

Much success on this process. It is just that, a process of finding the balance that allows you to worship alongside others of like faith, friends and family. How much does a sexual abuse survivor disclose? How much do others need to know about each other and still be able to serve God?

The answer fellow survivor, is a matter of faith. Whom did Jesus reach out to, whom did he seek out? Lepers, fishermen, tax collectors, thieves, temple prostitutes, those who had a right heart condition and were seeking salvation through the Christ. The body of Christians in the first century did not sit together "AA" style and tell of their transgressions. Instead, as Hebrews 10: 23, 24 and 25 tells us, with public declaration of their hope, they incited to love and fine works, never forsaking the gathering of themselves together, encouraging one another. Today we follow the example of those fine Christians. They focused on publicly declaring their hope, loving and encouraging one another. Shortcomings were forgiven "77" times, Jesus taught to love as he loved, to die for each other. So too, we must today learn to go as far as death to support each other.

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, it will give you a hopeful perspective. If you feel the need to disclose the past or feelings of unworthiness, read James 5:14. Disclosing is an important step for survivors, read http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer3.html

Welcome to faith, hope and courage Steve, in our fellow Christians, in our Lord, His Son and us, we are worthy of righteousness, God tells us we are.

Sam

Seek God first, in doing this everything else will fall into place brother... If having faith is being selfish then I am guilty.. We all are unworthy of God's kindness and forgiveness, but that battle has been won already bro..We are winners thru Jesus Christ.. I always thought I had to quit drinking and cussing to go to church and serve God..I was stupid...I found God and he took all that away... The Holy Spirit lives inside of me and He is my compass....I had to surreneder it all to Him before I rec'd His full blessings and was sanctified