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#4061 - 04/09/03 01:43 AM new here
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
hi everyone,
i found this site about 3 weeks ago. im not ready to tell my story yet and im not really sure what good can come from me doing so. it happend to me when i was 14, im now 21. I've been working in therapy for about 6 months now and have to say i've come a long way but i'm still sometimes nervous around him. He says i have a lot of trust issues but he wont tell me how they relate to my life--He is honest but he is not very informative of forthcoming. i guess i have to agree with him to some extent about the trust stuff. He is the first person i ever told but still really tough for me to talk about it.
has anyone worked for a long time in therapy? was is helpful? how long did it take?
thanks for listening
-Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#4062 - 04/09/03 01:56 AM Re: new here
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
Hi Logan... welcome! \:\)

I am pretty new here too, and also young; I am 23. I think it is great that there are young people here working through their problems instead of waiting until they are older. Stop by the chat room sometime! \:\)

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#4063 - 04/09/03 01:51 PM Re: new here
RJD Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 326
Loc: jefferson City, Mo,usa
Hi logan and welcome.
You are not alone here and neither am I. When I started my recovery work it was about 1975. Little was known about survivor issues and many in the business thought it was a figment of our imaginations, because that was what was taught.

I expect the healing process to take far less time today because of the wealth of information gleaned from your brave predecessors who have stepped forward.

I believe recovery is still a rough and rocky road, and I think it will always be that as each of us has our own journey to travel.

I'm going to dig up an old post started by LLOYDY that explores your question.

-------- be gentle with yourself


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#4064 - 04/09/03 06:01 PM Re: new here
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Welcome Logan.
Quote:
has anyone worked for a long time in therapy? was is helpful? how long did it take?
I am 62 and was 16 when it happened to me and 56 before I sought help. What I can tell you is it will take as long as necessary. Since coming here I have actually made huge progress because of the genuine warmth of your brothers here. We are all on the journey together. There will be bumps and set backs but you are on the right road. And you are never alone anymore. We are here for you; all of us. Together we will all heal in our own time and space.
Just a few tips. Be gentle with yourself and relax. Read the posts, join the chats, send the private mail and generally get invovled again at your pace. No one here will push you because this is a safe place for all of us.

I really admire you for starting your journey at a young age. You have a whole life to live and it is our goal here that all of us will have a fulfilling time of it.

I am sorry because of what brought you here but can assure you that you have found the right place.
Mike

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#4065 - 04/09/03 07:53 PM Re: new here
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Logan
welcome to MS, I guess none of us want to be here, but if we need some help, support and advice about our lives after SA then this is the place to be.
You'll find a great bunch of guys here with so much to offer, so stick around and get your share of support.

How long does it take, who knows ?
There are too many different things going on, different expectations and personalities to even guess.
But don't be put off, because every little bit of improvement is worth the effort of the healing process. And one day all the little bits add up to something truly worthwhile.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#4066 - 04/10/03 12:55 AM Re: new here
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Quote:
hi everyone,
i found this site about 3 weeks ago. im not ready to tell my story yet and im not really sure what good can come from me doing so. it happend to me when i was 14, im now 21.
Welcome to MS Logan, and it's good to see yet another male survivor starting so young to work thru your CSA issues and work toward more & more healing & wholeness.

Quote:
I've been working in therapy for about 6 months now and have to say i've come a long way but i'm still sometimes nervous around him ... has anyone worked for a long time in therapy? was is helpful? how long did it take?
thanks for listening
-Logan
Logan, I was first abused about age 2, the last time I was about 11. I had only dim distant dots of memory about any of it, mostly body & feeling memories, until about 20 months ago; that's when I really started recovery.

Since I've been in therapy & psychiatry pretty regularly for about 13 years, this means it took about 11 years (with mainly 2 therapists, tho two more briefly before them) for abuse memories to surface & abuse recovery to start.

Of course we're all different and clearly you already have some abuse memories.

Just try to give yourself time, take it easy on yourself, and remember that as for anybody becoming healthy & living a vital life is a process--take it one day at a time.

Easier said than done (don't I know it) but good therapy sure helps. So does this site.

Take care Logan

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#4067 - 04/10/03 01:44 PM Re: new here
michaelb Offline
Member

Registered: 04/21/01
Posts: 211
Loc: cincinnati, ohio
LOGAN.....nice to meet you, sorry you are here....i envy your courage at such a young age...you should be very proud of yourself....rest assured the choice you have made will be beneficial in the long run, though very painful at times....stay strong....wow, that is so easy to say to you, but so hard for me to believe about myself....just do the best you can with trust, it takes time.....take care.....michael


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#4068 - 04/10/03 02:37 PM Re: new here
ernie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/26/02
Posts: 121
Loc: Portland, Maine
Logan, welcome. You are not alone here. I like others found this sanctuary late in life. I am 58 was abused at a young age and couldn't face it until 3 years ago. As a result, my marriage is in terrible condition, we have been seperated for almost three years now. Had it not been for the people here and the wise words and support, I'm not sure what would have happened. There is no such thing as lucky when you are talking about Childhood Sexual Abuse there is however comfort in knowing that you are not alone, you are young, face your demons, stay strong and when your not, there are the people here to pick you up and be supportive. I have learned there is nothing that is stupid or too gross to talk about. Welcome
Bob

_________________________
The roads of life are full of stones but, they can be moved take my hand we will help each other.

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#4069 - 04/10/03 07:13 PM Re: new here
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Logan,

Welcome, glad you found this site, and sorry that you had to come looking for it. It really is a good way to connect with other guys who've been through the same kinds of pain, and to share solutions for working through it.

I've only been posting here since Feb. of this year, only working on recovery since late last year, and the abuse that made this necessary for me was 25+ years ago. I'm glad to see that you're more courageous than I was at your age in facing up to the facts and starting to recover.

Keep coming back.

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#4070 - 04/11/03 12:40 AM Re: new here
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hello Logan,

That is a neat name--a little tyke I think a lot of is also called Logan.

You have just embarked on therapy. It takes time to build trust with a therapist. It is a way we protect ourselves. There is no need for you to rush to tell us your story. You have told us that you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. It saddens us to know that you went through what we went through. I think you will find this a very safe place and feel that you are understood by all of us.

I have been in therapy for twice as long as you have been alive. Don't let that discourage you. I was a very anxious person after the abuse, I was depressed, crabby, always angry and very cynical and sarcastic. I had a lot to work on. Then around age 50 a therapist stated to ask questions and I told her I had been sexually abused. It was a couple of years after that that I met a therapist that jumped on the abuse and started to show me the connections between the abuse and the effects of it.

Since then, lots of good things have happened and I am getting to feel well now.

You are starting soon after the abuse. That will help you. Most of us were raped. That is a very embarassing thing to admit. But it is a fact and the guys here have usually been there and are very kind and affirming.

Take your time Logan. If you have questions, just ask them. Only a few of us are counslors or therapists--but we are all men who know the horror of being used sexually. We can share our experience with you.

Peace to you Logan.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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