I have thought about this for a while but never posted it......I don't think.
There are effects of my H's CSA that I actually appreciated before I knew where it came from. That is not to say that I don't still appreciate these 'effects' if we want to call them that ....and perhaps they are not totally from the CSA - he feels they are related though so I go with that.
He has pretty much a zero interest in porn. On a scale of 0-10 he is like 0.5. I always liked that about him.
If a female comes on to him - he will bolt. There is no turn on for him. He can't be pressured. He feels very insecure about his reaction to these situations. Personally, it's not an 'issue' I take any great strides to change. Recently though he had a customer who was just WAY to aggressive with him and I found it very annoying that she would pursue him knowing he was uncomfortable. I've seen his reaction to this stuff....it's obvious he is uncomfortable. I have had some choice words for her rolling around in my head but I've never gotten a chance to say them.
I watched him very closely with my nieces and nephews when we were dating and he was always very sweet and gentle with the kids. I knew he'd be a good dad and he is. That probably has very little to do with his CSA - but I like to say it.
He never goes to 'gentleman's clubs' - that is a stupid name for them but I'm going to go with it. I can count on 1 hand the number of times he has gone in the last (almost) 20 years that we have been together.
Now....the list of examples of things that I didn't/don't appreciate is somewhat longer but I find it an odd thing that some of the stuff I really like about him is perhaps a strong result of something I really wish had never happened to him.
It's such a crazy world sometimes.