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#406661 - 08/13/12 10:47 AM What I've Learned
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
In less than a weeks time on this board I have learned alot that has helped me start my recovery. Most importantly I've learned that what I have been through is not unusual, that I am not alone:

1) Others feel shame and guilt about their abuse "it was my fault" is a common theme. I'm not alone.
2) Others are filled with anger and hatred..toward themselves, not their abuser. I'm not alone.
3) Others are horrified that they can feel aroused thinking about their abuser. I'm not alone.
4) Others have had their lives swallowed up by addictions to drugs, alcohol, and sex. I'm not alone.
5) Others identify themselves as straight, enjoy sex with women, yet inexplicably have gone out and had anonymous sex with numerous gay men. I am not alone.
6) Others secretly are obsessed with gay porn and masturbation. I am not alone.
7) Others have kept the secret for years, and finally had to let it out. I'm not alone.

I have let my abuser control my life for 42 years and I am pissed off that 2/3 of my life has wasted trying to contain the damage he did to me. Ruined relationships. Years spent drinking and drugging. I am going to overcome this shit if it kills me and I hope he burns in hell.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#406742 - 08/13/12 10:51 PM Re: What I've Learned [Re: Jude]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3889
Loc: somewhere in Africa
good post, Gary!

you've made remarkable progress in a short time. it take some of us months to get to the place where we can make the statements you just did - all in one gulp!

i hope you are aware of the change and encouraged by this.

keep at it - for your sake - and for all those who are reading along...

"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"

#406759 - 08/14/12 03:30 AM Re: What I've Learned [Re: Jude]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey Gary

Great steps in recovery. Keep going, keep learning and keep working at it.
If you have an honest desire to heal, you will. I hope that you are of the booze and drugs.

Never give up.

Heal well
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#406769 - 08/14/12 04:20 AM Re: What I've Learned [Re: Jude]
happybuddha1 Offline

Registered: 05/19/09
Posts: 86
Loc: Michigan
Thanks for your post Gary.....a direct mirror of my life and is nice to see that I am not alone
A scared little boy who is trying to heal and feel again..


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