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#406504 - 08/11/12 07:17 PM Trouble Finding a T
seikei Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/12
Posts: 94
With the help of this site, I have taken on the task of trying to find a T. This task has proven very troublesome. I reside in Arkansas and there is only one T who specializes in CSA trauma who is almost 3 hours away from where I live. Come to find out that his information is not current anyway. The next closest T is either in Oklahoma City or Houston. I was really excited when I found out one offered Skype sessions, come to find out though that he required 4-6 face to face sessions before the Skype sessions. I'm not sure what to do anymore. Of the three Ts that I've seen in my area have none of them specialize in CSA and all of them have appeared to have tired of me after a few sessions. The latter two were part of a state sponsored mental health organiztion that is overwhelmed and horribly mismanaged (always changing appointments, losing paperwork etc) they also seem to be more interested in medicating me than actually helping me work through my issues on a long term basis. Money is something of an issue. Im college student and while Im more well off than many of my peers, Im not exactly Mr. Moneybags. Really my option right now is to travel to either OKC or Houston, but I am terrified of driving on the highway and also of the traffic of big cities. And also there is the issue of gas and actual cost of the services. What do you guys think? Do I have any other options?

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#406506 - 08/11/12 08:02 PM Re: Trouble Finding a T [Re: seikei]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Hey seikei...welcome to MS. Only on here a few weeks myself.

Someone mentioned on another thread he'd has success with a T who specialized in trauma. It would probably come up in the search island. And a trauma T in Little Rock if not too stressful a drive? Jus' an idea.

Similar experience, btw, with county services here. Even two weeks later, no callback. Ended up with an intern T on his second career and that's good enuf for me for now.

If NOTHING else there are probably at least a few dozen of us letting our brains churn on your problem.

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#406509 - 08/11/12 08:56 PM Re: Trouble Finding a T [Re: seikei]
scottyg Offline


Registered: 06/26/12
Posts: 253
Loc: Seattle
Please don't feel like any of your experiences are out of the ordinary. Including your difficulty finding a therapist. I am 40. My parents knew the day I got abducted which was over 30 years ago. Been on and off the couch ever since. I've talked to more "mental health professionals" than I can remember, literally. Still haven't met one that just blew me away with his professionalism. The last psych I talked to was a professional referral and she said she couldn't help me. I expected too much out of therapy. Really? Expecting to be a whole human being one day is too much? Whatever.... hack.

The point is finding s therapist that suits you isn't aways about specific credentials. Looking for a CSA specialist may be helpful but then again it may not. Hate to say it but finding a therapist you like is a bit like dating... there needs to be a rapport and a level of trust and respect. I think that rapport is more important in a theraputic relationship than the letters after a last name or a list of conditions they specialize in treating. My guy said there are really only two problems -and I'm paraphrasing from a quip half remembered- there's anxiety and there's distorted thinking. That's it. The root of these problems are as unique as each individual but the symptoms are always the same. Not sure if it's true but it's a thought.

So what worked for me? I did research online and found a few therapists that sounded like normal people. There's all kinds of whack-a-doo therapy models so you gotta go for a solid practice not a witch doctor. Wikipedia helped me translate the psycho babble so I could understand all the jargon. I decided to call for therapists within an hour drive of me. The first few were booked. No openings for new patients. It happens, just move on. I found a guy an hour away who specialized in Cognative Behavioral Therapy. CBT is a tools driven therapy I recommend. Please note this guy was not a CSA specialist per se. We talked a bit about the abuse and about how my family was as emotionally unvailable as yours. But mostly we talked present day. How to re-interpret and understand your world so the past, present and future make sense in a positive and healthy way. I became a regular weekly patient and yes it was a pain in the ass to go an hour each way but I scheduled my day around it. Healing is work and you are worth the work so do it.

My final suggestions to you are thus: Try to take advantage of any and all resources the university provides. The student health center may have psych services you can use. They'll certainly have referrals for you. Another resouce at school that could become an avenue for therapy are the psych grad students. I know it sounds a little like a free haircut from barber college but at this stage just opening up about your background and being heard and being accepted is incredibly validating. A local option may tide you over till you;re ready to move on to another venue.

all the best,

Scott
_________________________
I've got a bike you can ride it if you like.
Its got a basket, a bell that rings
And many other things to make it look good.
I'd give it to you if I could -but I've borrowed it.

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#406521 - 08/12/12 12:04 AM Re: Trouble Finding a T [Re: seikei]
seikei Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/12
Posts: 94
@Lancer: Actually to put it in perspective for you, I find a 45 minute trip to to a neighboring town to be stressful. I do not like getting on the highway unless I absolutely, positively have to. I'm just petrified by the prospect of getting in an accident outside of my hometown Some people kid that I should get therapy for that, lol. But yeah, I've never thought about possibly seeing a trauma T, I'll definitely look into it.

@Scott: Thank you so much for your input. Actually the latter two Ts I've seen were actually through a program at my university. But as I stated, they seemed to lose interest in my issues very quickly. So its like dating huh? I've never really dated anyone, but I can only assume its very frustrating. I figured as much though. Again thanks so much for your input.

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#406532 - 08/12/12 03:50 AM Re: Trouble Finding a T [Re: seikei]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3317
Loc: back in the USA
seikei -

my T is not a specialist in CSA issues. he has some experience in that area and is a very caring individual. we get along great and i trusted him quite quickly and found it easy to open up. those things are usually VERY difficult for me. i would not trade him for the most experienced and highest qualified specialist.

just to say - someone who works with you and for you is sometimes more important than one with all the big high-powered credentials.

i wish you success in your search.
Lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#406566 - 08/12/12 01:54 PM Re: Trouble Finding a T [Re: seikei]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1340
Hi Seikei,

Psychology Today has listings of therapists for all states and counties. You may also select a therapist according to specialty. A therapist need not be "CSA" specific, but should be trained in trauma work.

You may also find this resource helpful.

The Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping provides some questions you may find helpful asking a potential therapist. Obviously, not all of the questions in that guide will apply to your situation. It is not meant to be comprehensive, but a guide, which also helps take some of the anxiety out of the process.





Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#406601 - 08/12/12 07:55 PM Re: Trouble Finding a T [Re: seikei]
seikei Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/12
Posts: 94
Thanks guys. I'll keep searching.

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#406673 - 08/13/12 12:21 PM Re: Trouble Finding a T [Re: seikei]
scottyg Offline


Registered: 06/26/12
Posts: 253
Loc: Seattle
Alright, sorry for glossing over your previous statement about the state sponsored health clinic wanting to medicate you and then evacuate you. It makes sense that they would do so with their limited resources and the triage approach they must employ... They're simply not set up for the kind of counseling you seek. I hope you won't take it personal. Given your official reception, I think it's time to get creative. It's awesome you actually WANT therapy. It took a lot of us decades to get to that head space. So I want you to keep up the good fight and stick with it!

This may seem far-fetched but I was serious when I suggested that you engage with the psych department directly, either through administrative channels or through the PhD. students listed on a resource like this: Grad Student Profiles

Your message is compelling so just start sending it in emails. Yeah, you'll have to put yourself out there a little but healing is about courage and doing so conveys a level of sincereity and desire that is hard to ignore. Give them a sketch of the problem in breif terms and ask for suggestions. Briefly ID five things:
1. History of sexual abuse
2. Non-supportive family
3. Non-supportive mental health infrastructure
4. Anxiety about travel
5. Desperate need for counseling

Although there are a lot of hacks in the world, I think people start off in the helping professions because they really do want to help. You are a young person who wants that help and cannot find it. Certainly, someone at an institution of higher learning has the power to see that you get a little help -whatever it might be. And something is always better than nothing. Don't give up. Get creative.

-Scott
_________________________
I've got a bike you can ride it if you like.
Its got a basket, a bell that rings
And many other things to make it look good.
I'd give it to you if I could -but I've borrowed it.

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#417040 - 11/23/12 07:46 PM Re: Trouble Finding a T [Re: seikei]
seikei Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/12
Posts: 94
Hi Scott,

I haven't seen your post until now. I apologize. I have to say I was apprehensive when you suggested contacting the psychology department of the university. I just didn't think it would be their "thing" to deal with for lack of a better term, but now looking at it I suppose its work a shot. I'm probably going to wait until the new year before I contact. I'm assuming they're going to close down right after finals in a few weeks.

seikei.

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