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#406391 - 08/10/12 12:46 PM Trouble Getting out of Bed?
bnyc Offline


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 13
Loc: New York, NY
Hello All,
I have been extremely fatigued and having trouble getting out of bed after the "emergency" phase that followed remembering the abuse. It has been about 3 weeks of little to no activity during the day. Has anyone heard of this going on so long? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get my energy/life back? I need to start working again, but I feel emotionally unstable and extremely tired.

Any advice or hearing about a long mourning(?) process would be helpful. I understand I am not alone in the CSA, but feel like this reaction is ridiculous and that it can't be the norm.

Thank you for reading,
B.C.

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#406392 - 08/10/12 01:04 PM Re: Trouble Getting out of Bed? [Re: bnyc]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1963
Loc: durham, north england
Hi bc. nope, this sounds very familiar. AFter my crash in 2007, I was close to catatonic for a long while. I'd pull out the thesis I'm working on and try to write, but I'd just read the words and they'd mean nothing to me. Still worse were fugues, moments when i'd have so much random stuff going on in my brain, sensations, flashes of emotion or sound that I'd literally have trouble standing upright.

This does get very slowly better, but it's not a quick process. Certainly coming on here and talking about things can help, writing poetry I found particularly helpfull.

One thing to remember though is that you need! to give yourself at least some time. one of the best decisions I made was changing my phd from full to part time, this meant if there were days when i literally couldn't! write, i could give myself time and space without getting into feelings of pure panic over what I'd not done.

That being said, a serious problem I had myself (and sometimes still suffer from), is addiction to isolation, where I'd litterally see nobody for four or five days at a stretch. As a natural intravert I actually have! to be alone for a certain amount of time, but I really struggled in the early days with this becoming too much.

You could considder antidepressants, sinse the right one can be usefull just for alleviating really overwhelming feelings of fatigue to let you function, though that's not a solution just a way of easing the consequences, and also you need to get the right one for you (the first I tried wasn't helpfull and actually made me feel even more zonked while making me sleep less, though the second my gp prescribed was far more successfull).

I do appreciate feeling really alone with this, sinse that's absolutely another part of dealing with sa, but you've one done the right thing in coming here, ---- and it will! get better if you continue forward even though some times it might well feel as though your standing still.

Luke.


Edited by dark empathy (08/10/12 01:08 PM)

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#406413 - 08/10/12 03:37 PM . [Re: bnyc]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:48 PM)

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#406419 - 08/10/12 04:51 PM Re: Trouble Getting out of Bed? [Re: bnyc]
Jonah Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 18
Loc: USA
It's only been a week for me, but i commiserate with ALL the aymptoms that have been brought up here: the lassitude, anhedonia, agoraphobia, and the previous need or desire for long periods of isolation. Throw in some recent panic attacks and some anorexia and you've apparently got me pinned.

For me, i've found it extraordinarily difficult to get up and go to work, yet i have to. This board is helping me quite a lot. The problem is that it seems to help most when i am home, alone, in bed. My wife is semi-supportive in the sense that she'll talk to me and is helping to encourage me to face theae issues rather than bury them. Unfortunately, she's very angry, and with every right. I think my desire to deal with my issues is mixing up somehow with my stronger desire to repair the pain i've caused her and make everything right between us. This is translating into a feeling that is akin to coercion, and my powerlessness is not only causing me fear (because of my issues with control), i think it's accellerating the rate at which i am dealing with my CSA, which is hard beyond words, depleting my strength, tiring out my heart.

Aside from trying to unburden a little, B.C., try and find someone to talk to regarding your issue. That does help. Try, also, for that person to be someone who will have the strength to be gentle and patient about your disclosures. my plan is to attend my "emergency imtervention" at Kaiser, and get some meds to help me function while i deal with this. Unfortunately, on my end, that won't be for another month. If i develop any further insight or texhniques on how to lift that feeling off our shoulders, i will return to this thread and let you know.

Feel better, brother. Know that your reaction, from what I've read so far, is quite typical and decreases slowly over time. Feep faith. We WILL make it through.

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#406460 - 08/11/12 07:45 AM Re: Trouble Getting out of Bed? [Re: bnyc]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3373
Loc: somewhere in Africa
bnyc -

it's not unusual.
it's not surprising.
it's not abnormal.
and no one can tell you how long it will last or what other symptoms will come along with it or come after.
for some it is shorter - for some longer.
But don't worry about it. you have survived a major trauma - and now you are having a delayed reaction.
TAKE IT EASY!
take care of yourself. do whatever you can to be healthy. eat right. try to get some gentle exercise. don't isolate yourself. but don't push yourself too hard either.
if you can - talk about it or write about it. get whatever help and support is available. if nothing else - we are always here.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#406473 - 08/11/12 01:14 PM Re: Trouble Getting out of Bed? [Re: bnyc]
bnyc Offline


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 13
Loc: New York, NY
I would like to thank everyone for their posts and support! It is good to hear that my reaction is not as unusual as it feels and that I am not alone.

I am trying to work through the revelation of the CSA, because for the first two weeks of the fatigue (during which I was almost always asleep) I felt very stuck. I see a psychiatrist. I have a trauma coach. I am reading SIA literature, and The Courage to Heal. I have even started a medication for depression and fatigue.

Since I have been unable to work (I am typically self employed) due to the depression and emotional instability. I have been trying to gather information and gain insight about incest and CSA. I typically read the material, cause I cannot do anything else, and although I am focused on my recovery I do take breaks(sometimes for days) and pace myself.

I do hope the fatigue, fear of the outside world, and desire for isolation passes. I would like to live a full life. I suffered from PTSD for 25 years because of the abuse and now, this just seems worse.

I was curious if anyone has been to one of the conferences? Are there people in their 20s and 30s there? I think I might go to the one in NY in November, but sometimes I feel like I might feel out of place. It seemed like most people in the meeting I went to were in their 50s and 60s. They were helpful but I did feel like I was quite young to be dealing with this.

Thank you all again for reading and posting replies. I hate be be all doom and gloom, but it feels so bleak and unending. What is helpful is I have faith for everyone else struggling through this. Somehow I know it will pass for others and they will be OK, but I have trouble applying the same hope to my situation.

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#406489 - 08/11/12 04:26 PM * [Re: bnyc]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 11:53 AM)

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#406495 - 08/11/12 05:41 PM Re: Trouble Getting out of Bed? [Re: bnyc]
pufferfish Online   embarrased
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6850
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: bnyc
Hello All,
I have been extremely fatigued and having trouble getting out of bed after the "emergency" phase that followed remembering the abuse. It has been about 3 weeks of little to no activity during the day. Has anyone heard of this going on so long? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get my energy/life back? I need to start working again, but I feel emotionally unstable and extremely tired.

Any advice or hearing about a long mourning(?) process would be helpful. I understand I am not alone in the CSA, but feel like this reaction is ridiculous and that it can't be the norm.

Thank you for reading,
B.C.


B.C.

I think I've had this for many years. It started when I had a flurry of remembering abuse I experienced as a lad. I had one therapist label me as having "dysthymia"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysthymia

This condition qualified me for receiving benefits from insurance for my condition. He treated me successfully for bouts of flashbacks I was having as a part of PTSD.

However it went on and on and on past that therapy. I had a lot of counseling. Then EMDR helped a lot with the more difficult aspects of DID.

But most of this long, long time I've had most of the symptoms B.C. and the guys mentioned. One doc prescribed zoloft but it did not have a major impact. In fact it made the reproductive fatigue worse. I told my primary care physician I thought I had chronic fatigue but he brushed it off.

Only recently did he give me a series of diagnostic blood tests. I turned out to have very low thyroid levels and very low testosterone levels. I have been receiving therapy for these 2 conditions for about 2 1/2 weeks. It's working. I'm finally feeling more energetic and feeling like I had a "life". I've been taking a small pill every morning for the thyroid. Sometimes I tend to discount the instructions on the label of the pill bottle. However, I found that taking it 1/2 hour before eating in the morning really enhances the effect. Every month I get a shot of testosterone medicine. After about 10 days I thought I was going to walk on the ceiling because I haven't felt that way since I was a very young guy.

Puffer

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