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#406339 - 08/09/12 11:02 PM Hurting Abused Children
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6350
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
And the flip-side of tonight, I was told at the Good men project that:

Quote:
Ka says:
August 9, 2012 at 10:19 pm
“Abuse of children not only gravely affects their lives but the lives of so many others along the way”

You are hurting abused kids by telling them that their lives will be “gravely affected.” Tell them they’ll be able to get on with it and live a happy life.
the post

I feel lower than dried shit. Its the worst thing ever. What have I been doing???? I have no right.
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#406343 - 08/10/12 12:11 AM Re: Hurting Abused Children [Re: Still]
Afldman Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/12/12
Posts: 67
Loc: Pacific Northwest
I suppose, if I try really hard I can see their point. If you tell some pry they're stupid enough they will believe they are stupid.
But, and this is big, not telling them that they've been harmed, and will have a struggle from it, is like not telling a patient they are positive for HIV. Which, through proper treatment can be managed. I hope my comparison makes sense and doesnt offend.
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#406410 - 08/10/12 03:07 PM Re: Hurting Abused Children [Re: Still]
Obi Offline
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Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1275
Loc: kansas
in the first place, i don't see you telling kids that their lives are all messed up...

i see you being more nuturing to them....

in the second place, you are showing the adults how a child's life can get messed up from the abuse... you're bringing awareness to the adults to start getting them more involved in protecting kids...

i do NOT see you holding conferences with kids in attendance, going to schools, pulling kids aside etc, to tell them how messed up their lives are... you would NEVER hurt a kid like that physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually and so on........

whoever told you that, robbie, is incredibly ignorant...

don't let this person's ignorance rule your life... you're better than that.
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#406437 - 08/10/12 08:36 PM Re: Hurting Abused Children [Re: Still]
Still Offline
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Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6350
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
That's what I thought too Todd. Its why I was totally floored to read that post from the magazine.

The magazine editor said pretty much what you have above here. But I'm not kidding when I say my blood-pressure dropped through the floor when I read it. It was a panic, pain and heart-crusher I've not really felt since I lost my family.

Thank you Aldman and Obi for the support.
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#406485 - 08/11/12 03:58 PM Re: Hurting Abused Children [Re: Still]
Obi Offline
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Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1275
Loc: kansas
yw.
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#406486 - 08/11/12 04:10 PM * [Re: Still]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
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Registered: 03/25/12
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*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 11:53 AM)

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#406547 - 08/12/12 07:23 AM Re: Hurting Abused Children [Re: Still]
Lavinia Offline


Registered: 12/02/09
Posts: 60
Pardon me for chiming in but you posted this in Off Topic rather than the men-only section so here goes...

This person said: You are hurting abused kids by telling them that their lives will be "gravely affected." Tell them they'll be able to get on with it and live a happy life.

This sounds an awful lot like sweeping the issue under the rug, doesn't it? Sadly this opinion prevails among people who have not been abused or aren't directly involved in a survivor's life. They just don't understand. While I realize that the person who posted that comment may be thinking of "hope for the future" it certainly didn't come through that way. To me it just sounds like "don't talk about it, move on and pretend nothing happened." frown

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