I'm a little new to the whole gender identity thing. But I've always felt different. I never really had to ask myself these questions until I met my ex who was a transman. I just never really knew anything about gender identity, I thought guys were guys and girls were girls. I always knew I was "bisexual" (which I've come to realize I'm pansexual) But I was afraid of it because I didn't know if I could pick one over the other and commit to a relationship, so I decided I would be gay and never date girls so I wouldn't know what I was missing. Well, that changed when I dated my ex, Katen, who presented himself as a boy, however had a female body (which I didn't know until we were already in a relationship). Now I know where I am sexually, but I never really felt "gay", "straight", or "bi" because I never felt like a "man" or a "woman", and that was confusing. But, after researching gender identity, I'm certain I'm an androgyne.

"An androgyne is a transgender individual who does not cleanly fit into binary male or female gender roles. Androgynes may possess traits that are simultaneously feminine and masculine, or neither. An androgyne is a third gender distinct from a man or a woman, which can still encompass both man and woman."

It's exciting to see that there really is a term for how I see myself. I want others to see me as an androgyne, but I guess the thing is, I don't know where to start. I feel like this is a part of accepting who I am, it's important.

I'm really happy for you in figuring out who you are and how you want to identify. I've always liked the concept of a third gender myself, and I think the androgyne label is really interesting. It is difficult dealing with some people--I had many long arguments in the past with "feminists" who insisted on repeatedly calling me a 'man' (a word they defined with their own stereotypes and baggage) despite me telling them that isn't how I identify. Maybe it will help if you can make more connections to the genderqueer movement.

Yeah it is difficult, even my mom who is like really open-minded has a hard time understanding what being transgendered is. And my aunt thinks they're crazy, I don't even want to know what my uncle thinks. I would really like to become involved in the LGBT rights movement and the genderqueer movement, it's something that is very close to my heart, but I don't really know where to start. I'm kinda stuck in my room all the time...

CloudyFalls,

Identify a style you like and dress that way. Celebrate your own differences. I am GLBT or LGBT or GAY or whatever you want to call it...married to another guy. I have dated transgendered individuals as well. (specifically a bio-female-who was using a male name and identity) I considered myself a male and I considered him a male because that is what he desired to be. He went by Eric at home. .....However.....he used his legal name of Mary Constance, and people outside our home knew him to be a "woman". (Eric never fully transitioned, only once in a while used hormones.) We dated, lived together, had sex, and married. He used to grab my hand in the wal mart parking lot and say to me, "cmon honey, let's go act like Joe and Mary normal". Ha ha.

I identified as a gay man before dating Eric. I identified as a Gay man while dating Eric, and I identified as a gay man after Dating Eric.

Today I am married to a male person named David. I am a male personn named Geoff. We identify as gay people.

It is all in how you choose to express your sexuality, I am out to my co-workers, my facebook is gay, all who know me know I am GLBT. Be who you want to be...we love you just the way you are.

Good Luck

Geoff