I have asked the same question without much response.
i even asked the question in the adult survivor section and the Mods took it off never to be seen again.
it is very confusing to me that while I was 16/17 when the CSA happened to me, I was not yet an adult but not still a child either.
It is kind of like being in limbo at that age. You think that you are an adult but you are not by any means thinking like one and your brain has not developed into what an adult should think like. kind of a messed up place to be isn't it.
I read many things on MS that I can and can't relate to, very confusing at times.
before the CSA, my life wasnt normal by any means but it wasn't a contango of how sex was supposed to be either. sex was simple before the CSA, Fall in love get married just like everyone else does.
After CSA, What was love? Sex? Thats is what the bastards that took advantage of me told me at my defining old age of 16. Sex is love, love is sex. Sex is just that, Sex. Here, have some more money little man, want more, come on back.
So started my life of prostitution and the rest is history.
3 failed marriges, acting out, all the painful thoughts of why and embaressment, the list goes on and on.
JLS, you are not alone friend, not by any means.
PM me if would would like. Blessings