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#406280 - 08/09/12 09:04 AM Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens?
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
While I'm sure there are many I'd like to hear from you all the same. I ask since as someone who was abused in my mid-teens sometimes it feels like I don't know where I fit. I wasn't a small child when it happened but I wasn't an adult either so I suppose I'm just seeking guys with experiences similar to my own so that I don't feel so alone.
_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#406282 - 08/09/12 09:29 AM Re: Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens? [Re: jls]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3419
Loc: somewhere in Africa
last time with step-father i was 13.

molestation by a stranger at age 15-16.

more before 13 - that made me a likely target later.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#406286 - 08/09/12 09:43 AM Re: Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens? [Re: jls]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
"more before 13 - that made me a likely target later."

That happened to me too, at around age 10 with older children. Like you said, my T pointed out that those earlier experiences made me a more likely target in my teens. At first I didn't know what she meant but now I do.
_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#406287 - 08/09/12 09:50 AM Re: Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens? [Re: jls]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3419
Loc: somewhere in Africa
yeah - the step-father conditioned me not to resist or object and so did the bullies at middle school. by the last time with step-father i was about as big as him and i could have put up a pretty good fight if i could have had the will or confidence to. but i couldn't even imagine that. there had been lots of physical and verbal abuse that totally ground me down.

and i think i must have had a sort of whipped puppy look that marked me as an obvious victim. when the stranger started in i just froze and didn't say a word. again - couldn't even picture getting away or doing anything to protest. just let it happen...

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#406289 - 08/09/12 10:11 AM Re: Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens? [Re: jls]
Dar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 170
Loc: Missouri
I have asked the same question without much response.
i even asked the question in the adult survivor section and the Mods took it off never to be seen again. smile

it is very confusing to me that while I was 16/17 when the CSA happened to me, I was not yet an adult but not still a child either.

It is kind of like being in limbo at that age. You think that you are an adult but you are not by any means thinking like one and your brain has not developed into what an adult should think like. kind of a messed up place to be isn't it.

I read many things on MS that I can and can't relate to, very confusing at times.

before the CSA, my life wasnt normal by any means but it wasn't a contango of how sex was supposed to be either. sex was simple before the CSA, Fall in love get married just like everyone else does.
After CSA, What was love? Sex? Thats is what the bastards that took advantage of me told me at my defining old age of 16. Sex is love, love is sex. Sex is just that, Sex. Here, have some more money little man, want more, come on back.
So started my life of prostitution and the rest is history.
3 failed marriges, acting out, all the painful thoughts of why and embaressment, the list goes on and on.

JLS, you are not alone friend, not by any means.

PM me if would would like. Blessings
_________________________
All I ever wanted was a hug.

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#406294 - 08/09/12 11:03 AM Re: Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens? [Re: jls]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1536
Loc: New England
I was 13 when it happened to me. I know just what you mean about feeling that you dont fit the definitions. I was big enough that i could have said no, run or punched him in the face, so i've always felt that somehow it was my fault. I let it happen. Not to mention the confusion in my developing sexuality. The self hatred has followed me for 42 years and I'm just starting to deal with it.
_________________________
Well, I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down.
Tom Petty

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#406299 - 08/09/12 11:44 AM Re: Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens? [Re: jls]
Afldman Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/12/12
Posts: 67
Loc: Pacific Northwest
I can't remember the ages. My life timeline is all screwed up. I also suffer from ADHD, and time is a difficult concept for us. If I had to guess I would say it started about the age of 10/11 and went on for several years, so it must have ended when I was 14/15. But that's just guessing really. I am researching this at present actually. My abuser is somewhat infamous. Even features in a book...so determining when it ended should be easy.
As for effects, I don't know. How much am I screwed up becaus of it, and how much because of the other life experiences leading upto and following? I can't separate them.
_________________________
"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." -Daliai Lama

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#406300 - 08/09/12 11:47 AM Re: Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens? [Re: jls]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1996
Loc: durham, north england
Wow Dar, what you say about perceptions of s/x changing absolutely somes me up. Back when I was 10 my parents gave me an absolute and complete education on the subject and I just took it in my stride, as a biological fact about getting older like starting shaving or my voice changing.
then when I got to secondary school, everyone started making what were to me stupid jokes and being obsessed, isolation turned to bullying and full on sa throughout the five years I was there, so I usually tend to think my abuse happened betwene 12 and 15.

Oh, and for outside of deffinitions, while s/xual humiliations, physical and verbal abuse was all done by boys, the really serious s/xual stuff happened by gangs of 4 or more girls in public, in what I've started to think of as literal gang rape, so I'm right outside the deffinitions there.

The child/adult thing got even more confused with me, sinse I felt absolutely no connection with anyone my own age at all, indeed when I did a weeks work experience at the age of 14 at the local university, i wanted to stay there forever, sinse not only was it a week when i wasn't being abused, but it was a week when I actually got to talk to people with brains! and interests similar to mine.

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#406326 - 08/09/12 07:16 PM Re: Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens? [Re: jls]
JoeUniverseHP Offline


Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 72
First at 8 by a 12 year old boy, then at 11-12 by a teacher. Went abroad to school at 16, where the teacher had moved and he got me again at that time. The patterns had by then been engrained in me...I didn't say no.

Now he's in another country.

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#406328 - 08/09/12 08:37 PM Re: Any Others Here Abused In Their Teens? [Re: JoeUniverseHP]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6872
Loc: USA
Yes. I will add details later.

Puffer

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