I'm sitting alone in my empty house. My kids are not with me.

I had fully lost the path that was rightfully set for me in childhood by God.

I built a path, with God's help, in, around, under and over the debris from that childhood. Then i lost that as well.

Sitting here in an empty house without my kids, my wife, my family...staring down the barrel of questionable future. The internet does not have enough ink to itemize losses I'm feeling tonight. But the losses are very real, and i wish I could cry.

Robbie, we love you. It's OK to cry if you can.

Sounds like me.

My dog is here.

I just can't trust people very much. So they don't sense warmth in me an I'm not fun to be with because I'm morose.

Puffer

I have lost my ability to show my trust and emotions with anyone, except when I am drunk. The child inside of me is able to break free for a little while.
Almost lost my wife this week and know that I need to take my life back.
Just joined today and this is the first board I entered. So I would say that I gained hope today.

Apparently I somehow lost trust with others since I've been finding out that there have been several people, within the last few weeks, that has found it necessary to lie to me.

Perhaps I should just not talk to anyone anymore. That way there's no chance of anyone telling me more lies.

Hey SJD,

Welcome to MaleSurvivor, and sorry that you have to be here. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) we are thrust into a life altering experience, and consequently, development. Recovery from CSA is mystifying, hard, gut wrenching, but ultimately the most rewarding thing you can ever do in your life.

I've been addressing CSA 1.6 years (about the same amount of time I've been here), and I, and many others will tell you you're in for a wild roller coaster as you pursue recovery from CSA.

We're here to support each other, hear each other, listen, discuss, and even debate. But ultimately, our goal as brothers in recovery is to SHARE. It has been the cornerstone of my own personal recovery.

Welcome home, dude. If you've been molested or were exposed to sex before you were ready to explore it on your own, you are a survivor, and thus, we share many of your darkest secrets.

You're no longer alone.

D