I have so been there and done that . Picture me sitting in the pew listening to the pastor talk about how good God is and how he can deliver you form x y and z and specifically mentions molestation next . I am sitting there with my arms crossed slouching pissed off really pissed off . Thinking what the F#4@ why have i no been delivered and if deliverance happen for everyone but me . I was seething mad and felt like saying this is bullshit out loud . Because I had been coming to church and i mean faithfully every time the doors were open i was there i was trying to find out what this whole God thing was about . I went one time and for what ever reason i had this feeling like there was something to this even if i did not understand it even if i could not wrap my head around it completely i knew that there was something to it .
I kept coming and for 2yrs i really thought i was doing something accomplishing something . It all lead to that day sitting in church with my arms crossed slouching down looking half crazy mad when the pastor stops teaching and points to me and says
" Sit up young man uncross those arms and sit up sitting there all pathetic with your arms all crossed up , if your arms are all crossed up that means your life is all crossed up"
He had called me out and i sat up strait uncrossed my arms . I sat there contemplating whether i should get up and kick his ass . I did not hear anything he had to say after that for i was completely and utterly amazed that he would call me out like that i sat there in shock . After church I went home and was livid i was freaking ready to hunt him down and give him a piece of my mind for real. I remember thinking who the hell does he think he is , he does not no me , he does not no what i have been through how dare he on and on i was going and than i sat there with my bible in hand and i was looking down at it and i heard this still small voice and i recalled what the pastor had said .
" My arms are all crossed up that means my life is all crossed up" and i remember thinking man he is absolutely right my life is all crossed up i am all crossed up .
So even though i was mad after i had realized every thing he said was true so call me crazy but i went back and i kept going back . Sept 29th 2001 i found my deliverance from alcohol I got baptized filthy drunk and that day i truly felt the presence of God no words to describe what i felt that day . I never drank again it has been 11yrs . The point is that not to give you another story about God finally answering my prayers but God truly does reward those who diligently seek him .
I never gave up on God and stopped looking for the deliverance and kept searching for God i kept seeking and seeking him and him alone and the deliverance came more and more and more now to the point that i stand firm on the promises of God .
Most people would have left that church but he pushed me he called me out . I later disclosed to him after i heard someones testimony about being delivered from being molested from her own brother and i thought wow she is bold she is talking about this out loud with not shame and not guilt .
It let me no that i could achieve this if she could so i set out to seek God until i got to at least where she was and he has take me far far beyond that .
SO instead of seeking answered prayers seek Christ draw near to him it has almost become and idle in a ways lifting it up above God when all you need to do is to continue seeking him and the rest will follow .
I do believe that many prayers have been answered in ways you just might not have thought . My pastor says God answers prayers either NO ,YES , or WAIT and it is the wait that gets us .
All through the bible he had people waiting even after he said he would do something . Take Abraham he told him he would be a father of nations but it took him over 25yrs to actually see that through because God had to get him in potion to be a Father the Father he needed to be in order for God to use him to be a Father of nations . If that makes any sense .
He truly does things in ways that only he can see . He knows the end as well as the beginning he is there simultaneously this is how great our God is . He knows what it will take in order to get us in the position he knows we need to be in .
I believe you have prayed about finding healing and comfort and low and be hold you have found that here you have found that in your counsouling sessions you have found that through your wife all by your own admission . So even though you think your prayers are not being answered i truly believe they are being answered just not in the way you think they should be answered .
Because God is going to use the best possible outcome that will have the best possible result with the greater good for not only you but those around you and beyond .
And you have grown here you have found answers you have helped others so in the process of your praying for healing i believe you are finding that healing and you are being used to help others find healing as well . That is how God works this is how God answers prayers not in the way we see fit but the way he knows will have the greatest impact .
Trust me Lee you have helped many here by your questions your answers your seeking your honesty and your openness. I for one have seen you grow leaps and bounds . I know we do not no each other face to face but i no progress when i see it even if it is through a reading your post and watching the growth in your tones and in your strong desire to be whole .
So thanks for sharing and thanks for being honest you will have your answers because you keep seeking