Rylie the Wonder Woman! Leaping tall buildings in a single bound and making the world a better place!!!

GREAT stuff, honey! God love you and your survivor!

When is the consultation visit? I'm concerned about how long you can manage (and he'll cooperate) with going to work with you each evening! Do you have friends/family who might "nonchalantly" drop by your home before you leave for work each night? That person could stay with your beloved while you're gone?

Can you contact your beloved's MD with a request that the MD call your beloved to discuss his state of mind? The MD might be willing to call in a prescription for something to calm your sweetheart until he can get to that consultation appointment. Of course, if the consultation isn't with a professional who can prescribe meds (i.e. a physician or a psychologist) that's only going to delay getting him any possible pharmaceutical help for the depression- which is 100% a physical problem that almost always requires some type of medication in addition to therapy...

I urge you to not hesitate even for a nanosecond to call 911 if your gut tells you to! Don't second-guess your instincts. If you call 911 and ask for a police squad car to go by your home to check on your clinically depressed, possibly suicidal husband, they WILL do it for you. I've made that call myself for my own husband when I couldn't reach him and couldn't transport myself home fast enough. If everything turns out to be okay, the police will merely let you know all's well and will appreciate you giving them a chance to respond to a sick person call instead of a suicide call. If your husband is not doing well and the police suspect he is not safe alone (or in charge of your little one), they know exactly how to intervene to ensure everyone is safe. Either way, that call is one you can both LIVE with. Don't hesitate to do it!

Just some thoughts...!

Know that your efforts are nothing short of heroic! But don't forget to take care of yourself! Rylie's daughter needs her mommy!!!

Hugs-
herowannabe

Hi Rylie

Well done courageous woman.
There is a glaring part missing here. Does your man know the effects that abuse have on survivors, does he understand the things that happen in a survivors head?
There is a Brochure online and I have one on my blog (click on the link)
We are all different but we think more or less the same, so show him what the effects of CSA are and he might be more inclined to get help.
Most men would go through the mid-life crisis at about 40 or in the mid forties, from the sounds of things he is there or there abouts.
Don't give up and there is a lot of support here, so keep coming back, better still try to get him to come here.

Heal well
Martin

Martin- I will definatly show him those. he does more or less know the effects and i did some research on my own and shared some findings with him but i do think that will help. thank you

herowannabe- The conseltation was supposed to be for tomorrow but the doctor called me today and told me that she doesnt take his health insurance so i have to find someone who does. i was going to pay for it out of pocket but it costs more then i make in most of a week of work. so i have to find someone else. I reluctantly agreed to leave him home tonight while i worked, he has been doing better and his parents are going to be there but it still worries me.

It is really hard because he tells me that i am his world and that i am the air he breathes but then he will tell me that we arent going to work out and he can just see that were not and then turn around again and say that he cant live without me and it hurts becasue i am trying so hard to do the things for him that need to be done and i am there for him 24/7 but it seems like he jsut cant see that and he cant see my efforts to help him or its just not enough. i do all i can but i have to keep doing one thing more. and i am willing to do that one thing more because i love him with all my heart and it hurts me so badly to see the pain that he is going through. and to tell you the truth, even though i am worried about him being at home tonight, it is quite a releaf to have a night "off". but i feel bad for feeling that way:/