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#405958 - 08/06/12 01:37 AM Hello
seikei Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/12
Posts: 94
Hello,

I have known about this site for a few years now but I only now decided to actually join. I feel quite isolated right now and I figured that this would be a good as place as any to help me work out different aspects of my life. I'm not sure how to go about doing that on here right now, but I look forward to learning. Thank you all for your time.

seikei

P.S Could someone please explain the concept of *trigger* to me? I'm not quite sure what it's all about but it seems important.

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#405960 - 08/06/12 02:31 AM Re: Hello [Re: seikei]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3519
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Welcome, seikei!

if you want company, you've come to the right place. unfortunately, there are thousands of us who are here for the same reason. but fortunately, we can hslp and support one another because we understand.

the best way to begin is just what you have done - introduce yourself. when you are ready, you are free to post more. the Survivor Stories is a good place to give more details of your past, but there are many who just jump right into discussions by responding to other posts in a thread. whatever works for you.

reading a lot of posts is very helpful in learning that you are not alone - and how others have dealt with similar issues. but be careful - if you read too much too soon, you can get "triggered."

actually, it is possible to get triggered by anything that causes you a bad reaction. for some it is reading a story that is close to what they experienced. for some it is a smell or image or song or taste that takes them back to bad memories. the reactions vary from a full-on flashback where the person virtually re-lives the traumatic event to a feeling of anxiety and being emotionally upset. you might get shaky, have shortness of breath, and other panic-like symptoms - or an all-out panic attack. people with PTSD are very susceptible to triggers.

so - we try to warn others that something in a post may be a trigger if it is obvious that it could cause someone a bad reaction. it is not always possible to predict. i got triggered recently by something i saw on TV that i had seen as a child when abuse was going on. nothing that would cause anyone elese any discomfort.

hope that helps.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#405969 - 08/06/12 05:28 AM Re: Hello [Re: seikei]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1355
Hi Seikei,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

If you feel therapy is an option, there are resources available. For help in finding a therapist please read the Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping. Psychology Today has listings of therapists for all states and counties. You can choose the type of therapist you are seeking as well as the area(s) to which you are willng to travel. Also check your county rape crisis center. They offer services to males and females, at no cost to county residents. Some offer support groups in addition to individual therapy.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in September.

Again, welcome to MS.




Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#405988 - 08/06/12 10:01 AM Re: Hello [Re: seikei]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Welcome seikei,

Lee, aka traveler nailed the trigger definition. The trigger is like a powerful reminder. It is a mechanism that begins a process, that repeats over and over again. In this case, reading about an event can suddenly remind you of past abuse. But the reminder is much more than a memory, it is called an "abreaction". Simply put, you are there, when you were abused, with the inability to help yourself. It is overwhelmingly controlling. When it is over, the trigger only lasts a few moments, the negative feelings, fear and destructive force can last for days or longer.

This can lead to demanding "survival". Using coping mechanisms like pornography, drugs, or alcohol can feel like we are bettering ourselves, and they work to get us out of the terrible feelings of destruction, but ultimately it is like eating rat poison to get the bad taste of manure out of our mouth. That too is destructive.

Only recovery can help heal, can make the triggers less, can help support the survivor so the destruction is less, to give hope and courage till the day you can say, "I am truly free."

It is coming fellow survivor,
Sam
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#406004 - 08/06/12 12:44 PM Re: Hello [Re: SamV]
seikei Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/12
Posts: 94
Thank you all for your warm welcomes and for explaining the concept of triggers. I look forward to particpating in this group.

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