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#319740 - 01/22/10 04:34 PM Re: Alcoholism? [Re: Trucker51]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Your right about the sociological aspects. For instance, when I was in Ireland going to the pub is considered a community thing that involves everyone from the age of 8 months to 80 years old. While it may sound strange (given our unfair sterotypes about the Irish) the thing there is that drinking oneself silly is not necessarily the focus of gathering at a bar. Rather, the bar, or pub, as they like to call it, serves more as a sort of community centre where you wouldn't dare get drunk and act like an ass in front of your kids, nephews, neices, parents or grandparents lest you hear about it when you get home. An interesting fact - the Irish are not the biggest drinkers in Europe. The Germans take this prize. From what I saw in eastern Europe they can't be far behind as runners up. JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#368283 - 08/16/11 10:54 PM Re: Alcoholism? [Re: Trucker51]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 820
Loc: Ohio
Interesting to look back at this topic. I stopped drinking on September 1, 2010. I am coming up on a year sober. I started going to AA meetings in April of this year.

Basically, I was drinking at least 2 a day every day. My family was signed up to go to our church's family camp for a weekend and I was actually considering whether I could hide a few beers and drink them when noone was looking. At that point, I ran out of beer a couple of days before we were to leave and didn't buy any, just in case I got ill from not having some. It got to me that I could not fathom and was very worried that I could have no beer.

At that point, I realized that I had a problem. I have been reviewing my drinking and realizing that I had a problem really all along. I now say that the last drinking I did really wasn't a big fire, only problem being that it was a fuse that was burning and it was bound to hit the end sometime.

I remember in college studying social work, we had a class assignment to go to an AA meeting. A bunch of us went to one we thought was open but was closed. They started around the room with, "Hi, my name is John and I am an alcoholic". I was the first student. I wasn't sure what to say but I blurted out, "Hi, my name is Catfish and I WAS an alcoholic". Yep, just like this post, it is pretty clear what the truth is. It being a closed meeting they immediately asked what was going on and asked us to leave, but they invited me in particular to stay. I told them I didn't need to, I had found God and He had cured me.

Truth be told, I know from various memory markers that I was an alcoholic by the age of 14. Step 1 is admitting you are powerless over alcohol. I had done step 3 (turning life over to a higher power), but set that foundation on sand by refusing to acknowledge my powerlessness over alcohol. Within a year of that statement, I was regularly keeping a six pack in my dorm fridge at a college that would fine you for cussing and did not allow tobacco, alcohol or dancing on campus (and still doesn't). Now that I have taken the blinders off, the sheer stupidity and outrageousness of things I have done over the years is embarassing.

Anyway, just updating this thread with some amusement. By the way, my name is Catfish and I AM an alcoholic.

_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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#368288 - 08/16/11 11:10 PM Re: Alcoholism? [Re: catfish86]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
Hey Catfish-

way to go on facing yourself and learning to live life differently. I think those are the core principles that we can all grasp and utilize to improve our lives.

As September 1 approaches, I'd love to hear more about what has worked for your this past year and what you have left behind as you face life sober. Please post and share more!

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#405902 - 08/05/12 02:32 PM Re: Alcoholism? [Re: catfish86]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 820
Loc: Ohio
I just gave my first lead last Thursday. I will be two years sober on September 1, 2012. For those of you unfamiliar with AA, a lead is basically your life story dealing with alcohol. It was challenging and exciting. I had been coached up to keep it to my problems with alcohol. I did lay out my life story which included the abuse and flashbacks but not the focus. It was a large part of the way I drank, which was in a generally reclusive way. I did, however, do quite a bit of dangerous stuff (DUI, car chases, daredevil stunts, stealing) and much of it after becoming a Christian. Stupidity and the alcohol somehow told me nothing was wrong and I believed it. It is amazing when you don't face your problem by waiting until you can drink so you can forget about it and start over tomorrow. Now, I face up to my problems and come up with a plan to deal with it. BTW, I pray the serenity prayer every morning. Don't waste your time on things you can't change, pour your effort into what you can and pray for the wisdom to distinguish between the two.
_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Top
#405914 - 08/05/12 05:59 PM Re: Alcoholism? [Re: catfish86]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
As someone who is an alcoholic thankful to be in recovery I am dead set against placing the alcoholic label on others, for two main reasons. First, calling myself an alcoholic is something I believe strongly in since it helps me gain insight into my condition in order to stay sober. If I didn’t own that label by way of other people placing it on me then I would in all likelihood reject it, which would lead me right back to drinking, which brings me to my second point. When I was drinking I would shut out anyone in my life who dared to call me an alcoholic, and the resentment I had toward them was a perfect excuse to continue drinking. All of this doesn’t mean to say that today I don’t or won’t challenge someone on how their drinking negatively affects them or me. What I do rather than apply labels is to use “I” messages, as in “this is what I see when you drink”, or “when you drink this is how it affects me”, neither of which can be denied or rejected by the person since I am speaking strictly from my own experience as opposed to calling them something that they can claim they are not.

As far as your own drinking goes the best advice I can offer is to pay attention to what you are getting from what you put into it. In my experience drinking regularly takes a lot of work i.e. financially, emotionally and physically. Logic would dictate that people do things for rational reasons and substance use is no different. As a survivor I drank to escape pain, which worked in the short term, but in the end I wound up with two problems instead of just one. If you are getting less out of drinking that you are putting into it then may I venture that its time to evaluate the behaviour. Again from my experience change doesn’t happen immediately. It comes in stages, and assessing a problem before deciding on a course of action for it is the natural approach for people to take. Thank you for the opportunity to share my thoughts.

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#405920 - 08/05/12 06:46 PM Re: Alcoholism? [Re: catfish86]
Metolius Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Oregon
Congratulations on giving your first lead and on your progress in recovery. One day at a time, and easy does it!

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#405959 - 08/06/12 01:45 AM Re: Alcoholism? [Re: catfish86]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
With me, as long as I continued to drink even 1 or 2 , the erge for more was just too great so it was a no brainer. I had to stop completely. Congrats to you and continued success staying sober
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#405962 - 08/06/12 03:11 AM Re: Alcoholism? [Re: catfish86]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Wow Well done on the two years. Proud of you buddy.
I did my usual thing and read your first post not seeing that it was an old one. I then responded to it and read the other posts and noticed that it was an update.
I am going to leave my initial response to your first post, it might be interesting.................

I also used to justify my buying a bottle a day and I also never hit anyone never abused anyone and also paid my bills, sometimes late but always paid.
I cant say whether you are or aren't only you would know that, and like you say if you are asking the question, chances are.

If beer isn't a huge issue in your life, and the wife wants you to not buy it, well then don't. Its not about whether you are or aren't, its about not being selfish and respecting the other important person in your life's wishes.
Believe it or not, your wife is not trying to control you or make your life miserable, her goal is to have a happy loving functional family. Nothing wrong with that right.

Heal well
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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