Awesome advice, Anniemy4sons! I know your words come from a deep well of pain, so your soft and gentle advice is that much more admirable.
In spite of all you've suffered, and truly, you've suffered the most horrific of betrayals, I know you'd not be divorcing if he'd have at least tried. If he'd have at least made an attempt to deal with the CSA so he could deal with the sexual addiction. Or is it deal with the sexual addiction in order to deal with the CSA??? I no longer know. I think the order changes as the wind blows. What I DO know is that the survivor has to take responsibility for his recovery. Otherwise, there is nothing left. Maybe this is where Haps is when he posted that he may have a question coming about holding on/holding out?
You and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum. You are on the unenviable end where the survivor chooses to stay in denial and will, therefore, continue to hurt himself and others. I am on the end where the survivor agrees there has GOT to be a better way, has the humility to at least explore the possibilities for his destruction (CSA) and chooses to embark on a recovery that so many have accomplished.
I'm sorry, Annie. Every single person on this board is blessed by your kind, loving spirit and generous support of others in spite of your own bitter pain. If any good is to come of your struggle, I hope it will be that some other survivor and supporter will be helped by you, as I'm sure your words will help Haps. They've helped me!
Much, much love and compassion, sweet soul!
For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11