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#398507 - 05/27/12 03:42 PM It Could Happen To You - a youtube film
Vadrian Offline


Registered: 09/10/11
Posts: 110
Loc: Pacific
Watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM&feature=player_embedded

I watched this truly tragic, beautiful film recently, and it really hit home for me. He was estranged from his abusive, homophobic family for years, yet when something happened to him, they swooped in, seized his assets, body, and his partner who he had lived with for years was left with no rights. On the one hand, Prop 8 in California played a role. However, as his partner, the narrator in the video suggests, even if people don't have marriage rights or don't want to be married, they can still legally protect themselves and their partner with a will.

I realized after watching this that my incestuous, abusive, homophobic family could do the exact same thing, and now as part of my year plan I'm going to write an official will establishing that they have no legal rights whatsoever should anything happen to me. It occurs to me that many people in the survivor community have left their families, but how many aren't married and therefore haven't taken any real steps to assure that their former family doesn't benefit materially or emotionally from their passing?


Edited by Vadrian (05/27/12 03:42 PM)

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#398681 - 05/29/12 11:52 AM Re: It Could Happen To You - a youtube film [Re: Vadrian]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 05:56 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#398698 - 05/29/12 02:29 PM Re: It Could Happen To You - a youtube film [Re: Vadrian]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 856
Loc: washington
Let us not forget that slavery at one time used to be legal. It was not just a moral issue. Slaves were also considered property. (they had absolutely absolutely, no rights)...***no that is not a typo***

How is this in any way different...???

I guess the message for the time is..."PROTECT YOURSELF". (protect your rights, by any legal means necessary, even if this means, other than conventional).


Land of Confusion (Disturbed)

island
_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#398712 - 05/29/12 04:31 PM Re: It Could Happen To You - a youtube film [Re: Vadrian]
Vadrian Offline


Registered: 09/10/11
Posts: 110
Loc: Pacific
That's great bodyguard, I'm glad you're looking into protecting yourself.

1islandboy, you're right, slaves were once considered 'property' just like in this case the estranged, abusive family felt that their son was still their 'property' and his life partner and his real, gay life in California were meaningless things they could whitewash out of existence.

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#403402 - 07/12/12 01:33 PM Re: It Could Happen To You - a youtube film [Re: Vadrian]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""



Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 05:56 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#403669 - 07/15/12 02:06 AM Re: It Could Happen To You - a youtube film [Re: Vadrian]
Vadrian Offline


Registered: 09/10/11
Posts: 110
Loc: Pacific
Bodyguard, thank you! I'm glad you got something out of my blog. I just read your story too, and I can really relate to what you describe. I think it's terrible when I see legal experts or psychologists try to reduce sibling abuse/incest to age, as if the perpetrator has to be significantly older for it all to qualify as abuse. That isn't true at all, someone your own age or even younger could still violate, traumatize, and rape you. Take care,
-Vadrian

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#403910 - 07/17/12 06:06 PM * [Re: Vadrian]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 06:11 PM)

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#403915 - 07/17/12 06:47 PM Re: It Could Happen To You - a youtube film [Re: Vadrian]
Vadrian Offline


Registered: 09/10/11
Posts: 110
Loc: Pacific
It's great that there will be a documentary--I can't wait to see it. But 'family values' generally tends to mean putting the abusive family system on a pedestal and attacking anyone who dares to go against it. Hence you have figures like james dobson, who writes books about beating children and dogs, and is one of the most prominent people on the christian right proselytizing family values and attacking homosexuality.


Edited by Vadrian (07/17/12 07:05 PM)

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#405885 - 08/05/12 08:16 AM Re: It Could Happen To You - a youtube film [Re: Vadrian]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 05:57 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#405927 - 08/05/12 07:46 PM Re: It Could Happen To You - a youtube film [Re: Vadrian]
Vadrian Offline


Registered: 09/10/11
Posts: 110
Loc: Pacific
My former family couldn't decide whether to hate my gay identity or just deny it completely (eventually finding some combination therein.) In any case, I hope you can take the steps to legally cut them off.

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