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#405526 - 08/01/12 01:34 PM how I learned gratitude
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
No one said "thank you" growing up. At least - no adult. As I child you said "thank you" for anything you were given, or gifts would stop. And it better be heart felt and believable or all hell would break out ...

Thinking back - I seem to remember my mother saying it ... sometimes ... always with a back-slap.. kinda like:
"Thanks for doing the dishes - next time don't leave so much water in front of the sink."
"Thanks for sweeping. Next time catch the dust in the corners" ...
But him? He was a piece of work.
Asked him once why he didn't say "thank you". He told me "I told you to do it, why would I thank you for doing what you had to do?" So, taking that to heart, I cleaned the garage for him - one of his most hated tasks he could never find time for. His response? "Why should I thank you? I didn't ask you to do it. And it should have been done better. There better be nothing missing and my tools had all better be where they belong!"

Yep. I must have learned gratitude at home - that's a definite.

NOT
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#405612 - 08/02/12 04:11 AM Re: how I learned gratitude [Re: MarkK]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1928
Loc: durham, north england
Thanks for sharing, but don't think it's unappreciated sinse nobody told you to do it and you gave it freely.

sorry, couldn't resist, but in a sense this is the point, did you actually have anything to be grateful for?

From the sound of it, no. Gratitude in it's real sense is a response to a free gift from another, a sign of respect and acknolidgement for the time, trouble, work or affection of someone else.

From the sound of it Mark, it wasn't that you didn't "learn" gratitude, it was that you were given no opportunities to practice receiving it.

The good thing is, by the fact that your hear freely sharing with everyone else, this is somethig you very clearly have! learnt, enspite of your past.

Luke.

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#405631 - 08/02/12 12:09 PM Re: how I learned gratitude [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
the point not being that I have/had no gratitude.
the point being where the $&%^#& was THEIR gratitude...

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#405639 - 08/02/12 03:02 PM Re: how I learned gratitude [Re: MarkK]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1928
Loc: durham, north england
Which is exactly why you yourself deserve credit for learning better on your own.

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#405640 - 08/02/12 03:27 PM Re: how I learned gratitude [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
.


Edited by MarkK (08/02/12 03:27 PM)

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