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#407121 - 08/17/12 05:42 PM Re: To report or not to report.. [Re: Mike26]
just me Offline


Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 190
Mike,
Wow! Proud of you man....
JM
_________________________
My Story

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#407127 - 08/17/12 06:18 PM Re: To report or not to report.. [Re: Mike26]
Mike26 Offline


Registered: 07/25/12
Posts: 20
Loc: Maryland
Thanks, guys! I'm feeling pretty amazing right now. Its pretty cool thinking that if I have the courage to finally do something that has been weighing on me for 10 years, the sky is the limit smile
_________________________
"And the day came where the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin

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#407132 - 08/17/12 08:02 PM Re: To report or not to report.. [Re: Mike26]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
HUGE step Mike. Well done. And when the challenges come up, we're here for you.

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#408488 - 08/30/12 10:39 PM Re: To report or not to report.. [Re: Mike26]
Mike26 Offline


Registered: 07/25/12
Posts: 20
Loc: Maryland
I had a bit of a setback today that I'm struggling with. I went to my 1st T session since reporting my abuser, but my T found out that in our state, he cannot report without my signed consent. I signed the consent form and we called the state where the abuse happened. It happened when I was 17, but it turns out that the age of consent there is 16. When talking to the detective, he asked me if it was forced or consensual, and I had to say it was consensual, which is really, really bothering me. Yes, I agreed to it at the time, but that doesn't take into account the years of grooming that went on to get to that point. I'm feeling really disgusting and having to say out loud that it was consensual is stirring up a lot of the feelings of blame and guilt that I was experiencing before therapy. I still know that what the priest did was wrong, but I'm feeling like my mind regressed a lot tonight, which is incredibly frustrating.

Here's the bright side: There's a chance that even though I was above the age of consent, since he was a priest, he might fall under the "counselor/mentor" law which basically says that no matter what the age, he violated my trust and broke the law because of the power difference. It will be a hard thing to prove, and in order to do so, I'll have to go back to my home state to make a verbal statement at the police department, which is intimidating as hell. I'm going to look into legal help to see if there are any other ways, but its feeling like a huge setback to think that I had reported my abuser and come to find out that not only could the report not be made, but I am going to have to be way more involved than I had hoped to be.
_________________________
"And the day came where the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin

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#408494 - 08/30/12 11:23 PM Re: To report or not to report.. [Re: Mike26]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 997
Hang in there.

We're here for you.
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#408498 - 08/31/12 12:12 AM Re: To report or not to report.. [Re: Mike26]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Hey Mike --

Seems you and I are both on rollercoasters at the moment. What I'm finding useful, as long as I'm going to be obsessed about it, is to put that energy to good use. For me it's meant immersing myself in research, particularly on the law in the state as it stands.

End result, aside from being tired, is that I have a better handle on my options.

And, hell no, I didn't want to be as involved in this as I am either. I'd rather forget about it. Life seemed easier before. But there's just something inside me.

I'm with you, Mike.

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