darkness surrounds me as i try to lay and rest
the change of hands and a smack with fists
bloodied lips and bruised eyes
yet my younger youthful self doesn't cry in pain

I promise to take care of you
I promise to love you
I promise you will like it
I promise you I will not hurt you

I heard those millions of times
not that he cared or kept the promises
It always hurt
I never liked it but i didn't dare fuss or it'd be worse

Change of hands once again
beaten into submission at times
times i can fight
times i can't feel the need to

Change of hands one last time
bloody lips and swollen bruised eyes
blood running down back and chest
laughter remaining only sound i hear

I promise you will regret it
I promise to keep you safe
I promise to help you
I promise you will love it

the smell of soap and shampoo takes me back
the noise of the shower makes me see your face
certain colognes i've come to panic at
any noise can make me go back to my young self

broken promises all my life
i've promised to never make promises
they were never kept for me
i dare not to promise anything for its uncertain

I lay here and more darkness surrounds me
there is more laughter i hear
a movie is playing
can i continue to fight to get back to you

can i fight to get out of here
to be alive once again
or do i stay here
and let me rest when i can

Hi Jayy,
I've just read your poem, it is very strong and powerful. I'm sad because of things he did to you in first place and because he betrayed so many promises which is this song about.
I wish that I have power to bring some healing words to set you free of this pain immediately, unfortunately I'm not wizard and it is a lot more complicated but I have hope that better days are coming...
I just know that you are great person and great father, who knows how important promises are and who can feel his son's every need. Just notion of that gives me courage to think that you already won this battle.
Hang on there, you are not alone, I'm praying for some positive change...

Igor (aka Pero)

I love you Jayy....good stuff buddy!!!

Geoff

thank you both...

as Jerry Garcia once said "it's been a long strange road to travel"
I surely believe that it is and will continue to be.. i don't know...

thank you again guys

Jayy