The best sound and warmth you can hear and feel from a child is his/her awareness and silliness


Coopstah

Hi,

How about this one, Not all dishes will fit in the dishwasher standing up (neither will they get clean in any position, especially if the dispenser gets blocked).
Also, there's no easy defense when your sister(s) say, 'It's his' (corollary to Moms believe girls more than boys).
Also, a basketball can bounce high enough from 30 feet away to break a window (yes, I learned that one from experience, too).
Or, records do not make good frisbees.

P.S. -- Three of us used to drive Mom crazy by singing half-steps apart. It worked great because one of my sisters had perfect pitch and would just sing a half-step away from whichever note me or my brother chose, and then the third would find the other half-step.

Ed

507. A good way to lose your sister as your ally is to get drunk with her boyfriend in front of NFL football on the night she thought she was going to see Dr Zhivago.

508. Saying "Guess you thought you were going to the movies, huh?" is not a good opening line for seeking forgiveness from Furious Sister.

509. Furious Sister will not clean up the oven for you after you made a mess in it with your cake mix made with Colt 45.

510. Furious Sisters don't understand how hilarious it is when a guy (her bf) starts throwing up over all the dishes in the kitchen sink.

511. You know you're screwed when you get up the next morning and discover 1) the mess in the house, 2) Mom and Dad will be back from vacation by lunchtime, 3) you're still drunk, 4) Furious Sister is still furious, and 5) Furious Sister is the only one who knows how to clean up but refuses to help.

512 one of the best things in the world is a cuddly teddy bear and warm footie pj's fresh from the laundry.

M

Hahaha. That, my bro bro, is why you don't piss off your sister.

I just bug mine a lot.

513. Footie PJs are really slippery on some floors and can slam you down hard.

I started reading this last night and all I can say is thanks guys I really needed to laugh and remember that there where some fun times growing up. I have not read through them all yet so forgive me if any of mine are a repeat.

514. A new bike left in the driveway overnight will likely get flattened by your fathers buick electra 225 when he leaves half awake in the morning.

515. When your cousins call you on the phone telling you should try this and it involves putting something(like six whole un-cracked eggs) in a new household invention namely a new microwave oven. Don't follow your instinct's that this is a bad idea by leaving them in the carton and tying a string around it. Then doing it anyway thinking you out smarted them.

516. Six un-cracked eggs in a carton tied closed and placed in a microwave oven and turned on will blow said oven 15 inches off the counter top and it will most likely not work again.

517. Your mother will not believe you when you tell her you did not blow up her new microwave while your rolling on the floor laughing.

Might add more later.

Take care all.

Brokensoul

518. The next best thing to ice skating is sock skating across the freshly waxed tile floors.

... until you run into the china hutch ...

519. you feel so tough when you whip the kid down the street, you feel so embarrased when his big sister whips you for doing it .

520. It's usually not a good idea to shoot an arrow straight up into the air.

521. This rule also applies to lawn darts and anything that might be on fire.

522. They don't sell lawn darts anymore for a good reason.

523. Dawn dish soap was not made for automatic dishwashers.

524. The towels that were used to clean up the mess that was made by the Dawn dish soap in the automatic dishwashwer should not go into the automatic clothes washer.

525. There really should be a warning label on Dawn dish soap.

526. It is not a good idea to say an F-bomb in front of your parents even if you are just asking what it means.

527. The taste of Dawn dish soap never goes away.