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#40411 - 02/04/03 08:27 PM Re: pray you want a tomorrow
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
Al and MrEdd,

i care. sorry yer having such a rough time. Al i hope you get your arms looked after.

jer


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#40412 - 02/04/03 11:01 PM Re: pray you want a tomorrow
Hassan Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/24/02
Posts: 7
Loc: Kiev, Ukraine
Hey al,

Good to hear that you are doing better. While it is scary to read such posts, the raw pain is nothing of which to be ashamed or to feel guilt about.

Good luck.

Hassan


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#40413 - 02/04/03 11:40 PM Re: pray you want a tomorrow
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Al I am relieved that you are ok. I can sympathize with how you feel. Read my post on dreams. It is ok to f**up believe me. If this road was an easy one to take none of us would need therapy or each other. We could cure ourselves in an instant. That is not how it works. I have been at it off and on without realizing it ever since I was a chil. As a heroin addict I was looking for death and in some of the scenes I was in I was looking for the same thing. I did not have whatever it takes to do it myself. I guess it was the little child to afraid to do anything or move away from the familiar.
Stick with us though because like AA something will rub off. I have been in that since October 1976 and it does work the rubbing off bit. I thought originally that they were a bunch of sanctimounious sons ob bitches who did not know what a real drunk or high on heroin was. I was dead wrong. They had all been to their own personal hell.
We have our personal hell too. But know we are sharing it with others and by doing this we help the other, ourselves and any one who reads our posts. If I can help I know that it helps me. AA works because you cannot con another drunk; especially one in recovery mode. Sometimes I feel we should have something like that for we survivors. Personally I can take inspiration from you that you actually came back and spoke to us again. A huge thing.
Whether we like it or not we are all in this together and I guess it is a life long thing with us. Just like the crew of Columbia, who new the risks, but continued to stretch the limits because of the drive that they had. They have paved the way for others and while we mourn them we should also be amazed at what they have done and why. I wish I could have known them.
But I know you. You and I belong to a club that recognizes that we cannot do it alone but with others as a team we can do anything.
God I know this is rambling but what I am trying to say is keep trying cause it will work.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#40414 - 02/05/03 09:09 AM Re: pray you want a tomorrow
al Offline
Member

Registered: 01/08/03
Posts: 143
Loc: canada
I keep waking up so I guess that means I better keep trying. Marc once told me; anything worth gaining is never free. For once he was wrong. You guys absolutely blow me away. The words Thank You don't even begin to express how grateful I am to you all. Thank You.


I went for a walk last night and found the car at Marc's brothers house, so at least I know he's ok. Today I am going to try to write him a letter. Since Dennis hates my guts and everything I stand for, I know this is not going to be easy, but I have to try.

_________________________
Those who dance appear insane to those who cannot hear the music. Mark Kleiman

Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it. Winston Churchill

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