I remember
one Christmas morning
all I wanted
was a little boy doll
that I could protect
and keep him safe.

I didn’t get it.
They didn’t know
what I was thinking,
how I was feeling;
I didn’t let them.
It wasn’t safe.

Lee

I like so much this poem Lee!
It is beautiful; it resembles deep and vast feelings in just couple of words. From innocent childhood and Christmas fairytale to terrible reality of cruel adults ...
I wish I could buy you such doll . Did you ever think to have it now?
Pero

so good man thanks for sharing it

thanks, Pero & Newground.

Pero - i am very touched that you would want to give me that gift. no - i don't want it any more. in fact, when i grew up and got married i didn't want to have children for years because i guess i realized that you can't fully protect anyone. fortunately, i think that once we did have kids, we were able to keep them relatively safe - i think. i don't know if i will ever be completely sure - no matter what they say.

i now think my younger self had the right instincts - and was probably trying to protect himself/myself symbolically. but was equally helpless to protect either the out-of-reach doll - or himself/myself. i was wise enough even then to know that to even hint at that wish would have brought even more abuse and persecution down on me.

lee

Hey Lee,
sad true is that we would never be completely sure about our children safety.
I must say that for me is hearth breaking scene of boy wanting something like doll for Christmas, knowing that it is forbidden/not safe to ask for and keeping his wish inside
Pero