So, I think I might be in the wrong place. See, I have like inside out sexual abuse problems. Most of the people here look back on the things that happened to them as horrifying, traumatic, events that scarred them for life but it happened to me so long that I considered my abuser and the kids he abused my family more than my actual family.
I look back at those terribly painful, embarrassing days and it's the last time I can remember being happy. I've been reading that it's some kind of post traumatic thing where you get hurt enough and you start to think of the abuse as a good thing. I felt loved and cared for and when that was taken away from me I never really recovered. I think I'm still back there in his house waiting and I don't know how to move on.
I looked all over the net and I can't find any resources for dealing with inside-out feelings like this. I'm all backwards inside and I don't know where to even begin getting help.