I cant seem to stop eating comfort foods that are bad for me just to combat my depression and other emotions I am feeling. Anyone successfully stop this or have any tips that might make it easier.

Jason

Food is a tough vice to deal with. Unlike with finding solace in drugs or alcohol one can't go without food. Its alot like sex in that way. As human beings we are hardwired to find pleasure in food and sex. If this wasn't so our species would have disappeared a long time ago. Truth is everyone eats emotionally, but at what point does a behaviour need to be curbed because of the consequences associated with it is the question. For me its not eating I have a problem with but smoking, which the consequences of can obviously be worse. The answer lies in having to quit altogether but like I described the solution is not so simple with food. I wish you luck with finding the right answer for yourself.

Well I been getting pretty fat lately so mebbe I'm not the guy to respond. However I see myself fluctuating in my eating habits based on my own level of engagement.

This web site, for me, has allowed me to engage in positive ways that are keeping away from my bad habits (eating, porn, basting in my own self-loathing. As engage with things that are truly meaningful to me I simply don't have the urges to do the bad things. Of course, as the quote at the bottom implies... bad habits are sure hard to break. But I am doing new things to change my life. I'm learning to play golf. I don't even know how to hold a club or where to get those awful pants. But I'm doing it. 10 lesson commitment. So, that's the stuff I've been doing. Because impulse control for me is out of the question, I try to make my world as active and compelling as I can so I'm not torturing myslef with thoughts like I'm unhappy and I need to eat.

Hi Jason,
I have problems regarding watching porn and cause of that is maybe the same as your problem with food. I've been just partly successful in my try to get rid of that unhealthy habit. after I came here I tried to stop it and I was like sober for the week the most or then days and then fall again and there is pattern or repeating it.
I'm trying to understand feelings that are set behind. Obviously there is some conflict left in me pushing me cycling around and all that is exhausting
Feelings that are the most triggering for me are:
helpless, unappreciated, abandoned and so on. I'm just learning about those that are the most powerful in my case and preparing list of "interventions" that I'll use to keep my inner balance not falling again. Someday I'll need to go trough those feelings directly and not to jump around in search to numb them.
Here is the Ken's article about it, I think that answer is written there under couple of pages of text, even it could be that you seen it before please give yourself one more try to read it and think about it:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer2.htm
I see it as something that is certainly achievable and manageable, we can and we will be free. It is more difficult if we are still in cycle of such behavior but if we are determined nothing can stop us.
Please share with us further!
Pero

Same here

Thing is to replace bad habits with good, and the other thing that my T taught me was to savour each bite. Enjoy the taste of the food. work out waht flavours you experience, think about the texture of and how it feels.

The other thing is to question yourself before you eat, Am I hungry? what is the emotion behind the need to eat?

So this all helps you to think first instead of just responding emotionally.

Hope this help you
Heal well
Martin

Hi Onlyakid,

The two questions Martin suggested you ask youself before you eat are extremely important. But asking and answering them may not be enough.

If you are on medication for the depression you may want to see your doctor to make sure the medication(s) are at therapeutic level(s). It is difficult to combat depression if it is not being effectively treated.

You may want to work with your doctor or a nutritionist to help plan healthy/ healthier meals. There are foods which can help combat depression. Also, the typical three square meals a day isn't the healthiest way to eat. Your health care professionals can help create a meal plan tailored to your needs, and your schedule.

If you have a therapist, discuss your endeavor to stop dealing with the depression and other feelings through food. T can help you develop replacement behaviors so you will have something to do when you turn down your comfort food, other than dealing with the anxiety and the increased desire for that which you are telling yourself you may not have.

After you have had yourself checked medically and you have alternatives to eating in place, then you implement your strategies and have a higher rate of success in your endeavor.

Set yourself up for success.





Anomalous

One interesting thing with food is that what you eat comfort wise can vary a lot. For instance, coco is my drug of choice which is obviously contained a lot of chocolate, however recognizing that coco is what I am addicted to rather than the sugar, I was able to switch from low coco, high sugar and fat content rubbish chocolate (it's amazing how little coco is in most comemrcial chocolate), to %70 and above coco chocolate which both serves my addiction more efficiently, and is oddly enough much better for me, sinse Coco is one of the few actual drugs which, in it's original form has no bad side effects, indeed quite the opposite.

Of course, if it's sugar or fat that is causing the problem there may be an issue there.

the other problem I've personally found with food is a huge convenience factor. I am limited in shopping to what i can carry, which meant on several occasions when I've been severely depressed I've found myself literally not wanting to go out and buy stuff, and having takeaway for convenience because it's better than going out and facing people. Online ordering helps with this. I've also occasionally found myself ordering takeaway because I simply can't be bothered to cook anything more serious, ---- indeed sinse a friend of mine managed to unplug my freezer last week I've been a bit bad this way, so food is also heavily wrapped up with routine, work, extraversion.

This is why currently I've put on slightly more weight than I expected to, sinse I'm finishing my phd at the moment and thus have less energy for domestic tasks.

Finally however, one thing I've noticed with food as opposed to any thing else, is that in society there is such a gigantic bias about people's weight it's ridiculous, and despite what the media says men aren't immune to this.

It is possible for a quite average person who has not! experienced abuse to get severely hung up on weight and appearence, let alone what happens when you add guilt from abuse into the mix. I'm actually quite often surprised myself that I meet people who "believe" themselves to be overweight, but I'd class as fine, indeed I've often told my female friends that I find the modern, ultra skinny look of most celebrities quite unattractive! and while I have met people who I'd considder to be over weight, usually this isn't as many as society would say it is.

So, while I would agree comfort eating is a risk, there is also a risk in becomming obsessive over weight to the point of beeing unhealthy, particularly sinse it is also possible to become addicted to over exercize and semi starvation.

As good old Epicurus said, everything in moderation!

Breaking old habits and false coping skills (they only ADD to my stress and low self image) is a journey.

I have to learn to take care of myself. Period.

My body likes healthy foods - not feeling bloated or hungover emotionally.

My body likes regular sleep and getting to bed early - and regular exercise.

Also positive self talk is Important to open up my world instead of caving in on myself with false beliefs and negative thinking.

It's a daily deal to make the affirming and constructive solutions.

Don't ask me, I'm eating donuts and peanut butter as I type.
Just kidding.

I have that struggle as well, compulsive behavior, transferring from food, to sleep, to exercise, to spending, to ..you name it.

Compulsive behavior feels comforting because it is mind-numbing. It's a false sense of peace for the moment and always has a negative con attached to it.

After a LOT...and I mean A LOT of therapy, a string of professionals and myself, at least in my case, have realized that my need for these coping mechanisms is too deeply embedded to break. [Please, no one contact me with pitches for "I know a specialist who can help.." It always begins with "I can fix it," quickly goes to, "Give me $1500.00," and always ends with, "You know, there are rare cases that can't be fixed and have to be managed."]

I should add that my father's sexual assaults on me were weekly throughout my childhood, and reinforced with physical restraint and torture sessions.

My last therapist had the best suggestion for me so far, and maybe it will help you. If I must inflict pain on myself, do it by running, weightlifting, standard body weight exercises (pushups, pullups, situps), and jumping rope or other cardio work. Instead of compulsive eating, drink a glass of water or herbal tea and get alone and write or meditate on comforting myself, like a healthy, loving parent would love his/her own child.

Instead of nail biting or tearing, a "worry stone" helps (It's a rock or resin piece you can buy that you hold in your hand and rub your thumb into a smooth trench grooved out.)

Instead of overeating, drink a glass of water before consuming anything, whether it be meal or snack. If the compulsion is overwhelming, eat vegetables...eat vegetables....eat vegetables.

When your body gets away from processed foods and sugar, your taste buds and your brain will not only stop craving them, it will be repulsed by them. On a lark, if you give in, you'll find yourself nauseous and regretful that you gave in and ate junk.

Hey Keith,
you gave awesome inputs for Jason!
Yours vise words sounded like coming from an experienced Life coach. I don't know where on Earth did you think to hire one, you are the One who can inspire us, showing other perspectives making look as possible and easy to reach some goal
Just eat vegetables you say and drink water, that is great man
Pero

Well, Pero, thanks....now let's see if I can keep practicing what I'm preaching!

In 2002 I was diagnosed as diabetic, age onset plus comfort eating. I realized that the change started with shopping.
Here is what I did;
1: Looked for low fat substitutes for snacks and low fat frozen meals. So that when I don’t feel like cooking I don’t order take away.
2: Cut back a bit at a time. And made myself wait 10 minutes before giving in then was able to increase that time as I went along.
3: Allowed my self 2 indulgences a week (if I was really down 3). Eventually I went some weeks without.
4: Increased my intake of healthy food.
5: Gradually took self pressure of myself, as I began to loose weight it became easier to feel good about what I had accomplished that made it easier to cut back even further.
6: When I cheated I gave myself permission so that I did not look at it as a fail, that then made it easier to get back on the wagon.
7: did more than 1/2hr exercise daily. Even if it meant putting a marching band cd and marching around inside my house. Eventually I got a pushbike and built up 60-100 miles a week riding.
I went from XXXL to L in my cloths and lost 10” from my waist. My sugar and cholesterol levels are now in the good range and during a normal week I rarely comfort eat plus my food intake has reduced.
In May I had a crash on my bike and dislocated my middle finger, the Dr messed up re aligning it and I cant take strong pain killers so I had limited use of my left hand and lots of pain. My controlled eating and exercise went out of the window. 2 months later I had surgery on said finger and for 5 weeks lost complete of my hand. It has been 19 weeks and I am now getting back into a healthy routine and expect to loose the weight gained but most importantly I did not feel like I was failing during my 18 week convalescence.

Thanks guys for all your tips, I'll be trying all of them see what works best. I did have some success for about a month 2 months back.

I went to my doctor and he tricked me into a diet making me think I had diabeties. What happened was my blood work came back with a very high blood sugar reading but it looks as if it was a lab error because the following month when he ordered it again it was normal and while I had been on a low sugar low carb diet, my 3 month average was low too. Had he ordered a retest and/or a 3 month average at the time of the false reading he would have seen that it was some sort of anomaly. He's too good of a doctor not to know to do that. I know it may come as a shock but as a survivor, I'm not happy being tricked/manipulated or coerced ;-). I decided to take a break and it's been downhill ever since.

Anyway thanks for the advice

Jason

Hi Jason,
I hope you'll get control on your eating habits. Sorry that your doc made false alarm just in try to force you to diet.
Off course that you are not happy with such approach but you know that he tried his best for your own good.
Please take care of yourself, fight further and keep sharing with us.
Pero

Wow...DustyBoy..you're an unstoppable force. I want to be on your team.

I used to be a fitness instructor. My advice is to find time to workout and train hard! Pizza doesn't get nasty just cuz we get fatter! You can also substitute cakes and pies for fruits and veggies. You can eat on those until you can't and you wont be any fatter for your efforts.

Jason, how is it going on the comfort food front?

I've been battling it too, so.. you're not alone there. My latest thing is nuts. If they're all packaged in the same bag, they're 1 serving, right?

I just downed a whole bag of organic lettuce.
I guess I'll be staying in tonight.

As of recent I am on a medication for ADHD, and one of the know side effects is lack of appatite. Which sounded to me as a real blessing. But, it also inhibits one's ability to recognize when they're full. My T gave me similar advice as others previously mentioned (think about why you're eating etc.). Her description really hit home for me: eat like the Budhist Monks eat: they like to eat in large groups, but without talking. They put down their chopsticks between each bite. And finally, they chew each bite thoroughly.

I can't claim any success with this, since I haven't practiced it. But it does make sense. Considering that I have put on about 40 lbs in the last 5 yrs, I probably should really start practicing. Plus, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that heavy exercising (running, cross fit, and such) can not only help with the weight/blood sugar, but it is also a real bullet for depression. It makes me sad that I haven't been exercising in the past 18 months (that's a joke, son).

Take care, Peter

Peter,
Yea.. I completely agree, and I'm sure CrunkDrac would too, that exercise is a real help on this issue as well as depression.

My food cravings got reduced when i started working out more(gym , yoga and running). Now, when i eat something too sugary/greasy - my body repels it and i dont feel great after it as if the body was saying "Why did you put that junk in me ? This doesnt feel right. "

Having said that I give myself 2-3 planned cheat meals to keep it balanced :-)