I think there are very very few incidents in a life that will cause a child and adult to feel ANY more vulnerable than with sexual assault. Even in lock-up situations, I've felt vulnerable, but nothing like in childhood.
This sense of vulnerability is a massive element of my stress with the scope. Being knocked-out, being messed with there, not knowing what will and did happen.
I'm truly trying to develop a positive attitude, without panic and without fear eating me up. June 4 is a LONG way away when yer chest is aching from anxiety and hands shaking in panic.
I'm also hoping the Doc will find the car keys I swallowed at 3yrs-old. My father keeps asking for them back. (see???? Gallos humor)
Imaginary friends are people too!