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#404391 - 07/22/12 04:06 PM
Re: What do you wish other people knew about ASA
[Re: J.Bytendorp, ACMHC]
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Moderator MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 2461
Loc: South-East Europe
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Hi Recreated and welcome to Male survivor ! Please keep sharing with us and try to connect to brothers survivors here. It seems that you found your way to confront your past in productive way; you have a lot to offer to others  Being part of this community added immensely to my haling/recovery, I hope it will do same to you. Be well! Pero
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#405106 - 07/28/12 09:47 AM
Re: What do you wish other people knew about ASA
[Re: J.Bytendorp, ACMHC]
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Member MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 123
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Edited by Tyr (10/30/12 05:21 PM)
_________________________
nothing left to say; i have no faith in humans. i wish nocontact from a csa and possibly contact with an asa survivor. so take that to heart. no csa chatters.
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#405997 - 08/06/12 10:28 AM
Re: What do you wish other people knew about ASA
[Re: bodyguard8367]
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Member MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 123
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#425712 - 02/18/13 01:37 PM
Re: What do you wish other people knew about ASA
[Re: J.Bytendorp, ACMHC]
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Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 256
Loc: upper south
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"For folks who have experienced both, I would hope that they would discuss their CSA issues in CSA-geared folders, and their ASA issues in the ASA geared folder."
I still consider myself new at this site. Although the conversation has ended, I have read and re-read quickly through the pages each time I came in. Today, I slowed down and actually READ- not scanned. A great many statements caused me to pause and ponder what was actually being said. There seems to be no place for me.
Where shall I turn now ? To whom shall I reach out ? Neither the CSA nor the ASA was my fault, yet I have experienced BOTH. Shall I separate the two and pretend one did not happen so as not to offend someone who suffered the other? It would be easy I suppose, I pretend everyday I AM NOT a survivor of sexual assault and rape- you know, that it didn't happen.
Although I have been diligent with regards to posting and staying focused when in topical venues, I now consider the ONLY place I thought was safe to be not no so safe.
I know no harm was meant. But just like the society views of assault and rape the discussion began talking about, tolerance and understanding flew out the window.
Today, I have been slightly wounded again. But hey, I'm a big boy and I shall continue with my healing. I will not fall into the trap of hiding my CSA nor my ASA from other survivors because it doesn't fit the norm.
_________________________
"...and in the distance, I saw that which had brought me here." This Man.
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#427128 - 03/04/13 08:02 PM
Re: What do you wish other people knew about ASA
[Re: ThisMan]
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Member MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 123
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hi there. just read your post and you make some good points. but where there are multiple sites and forum threads for male CSA on this and other sites. this is the only forum of its kind for adult male survivors. no one is saying one is worse than another. But there have been times where guys working on cSA matters have "overstepped" into this forum and the term csa hijacking for better or worse was coined. a good forum that may be a compromise for you is the malesurvivors thread.
regards
_________________________
nothing left to say; i have no faith in humans. i wish nocontact from a csa and possibly contact with an asa survivor. so take that to heart. no csa chatters.
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#427136 - 03/04/13 08:47 PM
Re: What do you wish other people knew about ASA
[Re: J.Bytendorp, ACMHC]
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Moderator MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/09/09
Posts: 38
Loc: Salt Lake CIty, Utah
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We all have to remember that many CSA members are sexually abused as adults. I don't think there is anything wrong with someone who has both ASA and CSA to share their experience, because after all they are ASA brothers as well. The CSA and the ASA are both part of who they are and they can't be seperated because for healing you have to deal with both together. We have to welcome those with who have experienced both ASA and CSA and not turn them away.
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#427137 - 03/04/13 08:47 PM
Re: What do you wish other people knew about ASA
[Re: J.Bytendorp, ACMHC]
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Moderator MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/09/09
Posts: 38
Loc: Salt Lake CIty, Utah
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We all have to remember that many CSA members are sexually abused as adults. I don't think there is anything wrong with someone who has both ASA and CSA to share their experience, because after all they are ASA brothers as well. The CSA and the ASA are both part of who they are and they can't be seperated because for healing you have to deal with both together. We have to welcome those with who have experienced both ASA and CSA and not turn them away.
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#427152 - 03/04/13 11:18 PM
Re: What do you wish other people knew about ASA
[Re: J.Bytendorp, ACMHC]
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Member MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 123
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from wlakingsouth and in the locked section. Hi Josh I certainly dont think anyone wish to segregate per se, but this forum was supposed to be for ASA focus and the guidelines were specific. obviously overlap can occur but sometimesin asa threads a csa personw as totally hijacking the thread to dicuss their own childhood things and it was haoppening constantly. i am citing the moderator in the locked thread. but of course we seek your guidance and advice for that balance. i just would hate to see this become yet another csa forum when they have the male survivors board and others here too. just my food for thought.
"Gentlemen, Please remember that this forum is about Adult Sexual Assault, ASA, and not Child Sexual Abuse, CSA. While there may well be a certain amount of discussion of the differing or similar impacts of either as a topic unfolds, please do not "hijack" a thread in this forum from discussions of ASA to that of CSA. Thanks.:
Edited by Tyr (03/04/13 11:26 PM)
_________________________
nothing left to say; i have no faith in humans. i wish nocontact from a csa and possibly contact with an asa survivor. so take that to heart. no csa chatters.
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#427157 - 03/04/13 11:47 PM
Re: What do you wish other people knew about ASA
[Re: J.Bytendorp, ACMHC]
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Moderator MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/09/09
Posts: 38
Loc: Salt Lake CIty, Utah
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Tyr,
I don't think that someone who shares their experience of being sexually abused as an adult and a child is breaking any of the guildlines or hijacking a thread. They are not comparing CSA to ASA or making comparison just seeking support from others who share similar experience, not as a male survivor but as an ASA.
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