(((Silent))) and (((Short)))-
I don't often fall into sobs on MS, but your pain is so searing, I have been scorched.
Any words I want to offer will merely sound like platitudes, but I am compelled to reach out to you both as a sister who knows of the path you're on.
Please, please find some support for yourselves. Yeah, I know, that's a tall order because there simply isn't much support for us (wives).
I don't know exactly what you're stuggling most with, but for me, my husband's sexual acting out with prostitutes, an adult family member, compulsive masturbation, alcohol abuse, and I don't know what else has consumed my very soul. Sexual addiction and dysfunction in a spouse is a bloody nightmare that seems to have no end- especially if they won't fully embrace help and recovery. So, sweet souls, save yourselves. In doing so, you may save him. www.recoverynation.com
is a site that has been very helpful for me. There you will be in the company of spouses who are trying to stay afloat in the midst of it all. You'll work through "workshops", which are lessons that not only teach you about the inner-workings of sexual abuse, addiction and dysfunction, but will help you discover your long-buried values so you can rediscover and put in place boundaries that will allow you to end the cycle of the hamster wheel you're stuck in.
The underlying question that echoes thought our hearts is, "Do I stay or do I go?". Recovery Nation will help you figure that out.
My situation has no bearing on yours, but I will tell you that I've stayed. But I only stayed because my husband dug in and began recovery. He gave up drinking, which allowed him to think clearly. He came here to MS and found his own story in the stories of the other survivors. He got a counselor and has a growing understanding of the damage done to him. With understanding he could embrace honesty. With honesty came discussion. With discussion came compassion. And trust is taking root.
There is nothing you and your husbands can't overcome. And if your husbands won't join you, then there is nothing you can't overcome on your own.
This too shall pass. It really will.
I send you my love and prayers-