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#402519 - 07/04/12 01:23 AM . [Re: jls]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:49 PM)

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#402523 - 07/04/12 02:22 AM Re: Can Others See Our Trauma? [Re: jls]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
Yep, I think we also are in tune to perps... I think about how I looked around a bathroom for any cameras, or places to hide cameras before I use it because of my abuse... The same goes for recognizing allot of body language. We know the diffrence between a smile and arrosal. We know to look and are not blinded to think it's a smile.


**Trigger**

I read somewhere that most perps also have the ability to pick the abused kids out from the not abused kids... Sadly they also know to look for those same clues... I think this is why some become a target for them...
_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#402659 - 07/05/12 06:04 PM Re: Can Others See Our Trauma? [Re: jls]
Steve0123 Offline


Registered: 05/30/12
Posts: 80
I see trauma in women...it is harder if not virtually impossible to see in men, I don't recognize it.

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#403755 - 07/16/12 04:20 AM Re: Can Others See Our Trauma? [Re: jls]
pbert53 Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/09
Posts: 576
Loc: Washington, USA
Thanks for the topic jls,

i have to say that i have always, since i was a late teen, remembered being able to tell if someone had been abused (all types and kinds of abuse). Although i was not very good at it at first because i didn't understand what it was and it freaked my already messed up head. i have been correct 7 out of 10 times, approximately.

i don't boast or brag about it, because i want the person to feel comfortable and they usually approach me or i have approached them.

It is a good thing so many more victims and younger ones as well are a bit more able to find a support system than when i was a younger person.

i do know from my interactions with many CSA survivors and ASA survivors, that it is very frightening at first to talk about. I too had the same fear of disclosure as most, but i learned that it was worth the pain and difficult work to start to recover. i know there are still so many men who are afraid to even entertain that they were molested that they never speak of it again. This path has caused many to fail to thrive.

i also want to say that i see pain, sorrow, shame, loneliness, feelings; and not any details. i don't believe anyone can see another's thoughts or experiences, but can have empathy for like CSA/ASA survivors. i believe that we may have a bond and brotherhood because we are mostly the only ones that can understand us. Although i believe that there are non-victims who are able to get a measure of empathy for our dilemma.

i don't see the person, male or female, as being a freak or anything negative, but i can read the body language, vocal inflections, etc. i believe it came from being very right brained and more in tuned visually as a coping skill to keep myself safe. i was always hyper vigilant and very analytical about my where-abouts to the point of over analyzing most things.

i have found, i don't know how many, that i can recognize a perp as well. They can come from any walk of life and socioeconomical status, race, etc.

i was also a teacher in the early grade schools and i have seen many children whom i was certain were molested, etc., but i couldn't report because i didn't have enough evidence. But, that is getting better. Teachers have a lawful obligation to report a crime against a child, if aware of it.

That is a bit of my reality and how i see things from my point of view and experiences.

done

take care all

peace

paul
_________________________
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

~ adapted from: Sri Ram

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#403756 - 07/16/12 04:40 AM Re: Can Others See Our Trauma? [Re: jls]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 982
Loc: HULBERT OK
I believe that MST causes Us to look at the World with an distrust of others . Or we are on guard most of the time.
_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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