Thanks for the topic jls,
i have to say that i have always, since i was a late teen, remembered being able to tell if someone had been abused (all types and kinds of abuse). Although i was not very good at it at first because i didn't understand what it was and it freaked my already messed up head. i have been correct 7 out of 10 times, approximately.
i don't boast or brag about it, because i want the person to feel comfortable and they usually approach me or i have approached them.
It is a good thing so many more victims and younger ones as well are a bit more able to find a support system than when i was a younger person.
i do know from my interactions with many CSA survivors and ASA survivors, that it is very frightening at first to talk about. I too had the same fear of disclosure as most, but i learned that it was worth the pain and difficult work to start to recover. i know there are still so many men who are afraid to even entertain that they were molested that they never speak of it again. This path has caused many to fail to thrive.
i also want to say that i see pain, sorrow, shame, loneliness, feelings; and not any details. i don't believe anyone can see another's thoughts or experiences, but can have empathy for like CSA/ASA survivors. i believe that we may have a bond and brotherhood because we are mostly the only ones that can understand us. Although i believe that there are non-victims who are able to get a measure of empathy for our dilemma.
i don't see the person, male or female, as being a freak or anything negative, but i can read the body language, vocal inflections, etc. i believe it came from being very right brained and more in tuned visually as a coping skill to keep myself safe. i was always hyper vigilant and very analytical about my where-abouts to the point of over analyzing most things.
i have found, i don't know how many, that i can recognize a perp as well. They can come from any walk of life and socioeconomical status, race, etc.
i was also a teacher in the early grade schools and i have seen many children whom i was certain were molested, etc., but i couldn't report because i didn't have enough evidence. But, that is getting better. Teachers have a lawful obligation to report a crime against a child, if aware of it.
That is a bit of my reality and how i see things from my point of view and experiences.
take care all
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.
~ adapted from: Sri Ram