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#401943 - 06/27/12 12:59 PM Re: Sandusky Trial and ASA [Re: LN3(SS)]
J.Bytendorp Offline
User
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/09/09
Posts: 43
Loc: Salt Lake CIty, Utah
I know that this trial for me has stirred up emotions, It has made me look at my abuse and the feelings and emotions that I went through when I was abused. There are many emotions that this type of public even can cause and I encourage you all to continue to post about how has affected you personally. I know that for myself i feel for the victims for than anything. I know that I do not understand how they feel because I am not in their shoes, but i can look at my own abuse and only wonder if they are feeling some of the same things. I feel that it is a traumatic day when anyone child or adult, male or female is sexually abused. My hope for the future is that no matter the circumstance that rape and sexual abuse gets the attention and justice that it deserves. Until that day, I am glad that the Survivor community is coming together to get the support they deserve in whatever ways they need. i believe that everyone is on their own journey and needs different things to heal.

Joshua Bytendorp

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#402205 - 06/30/12 11:49 AM Re: Sandusky Trial and ASA [Re: LN3(SS)]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
I'm sorry but I refuse to accept the tired old saw of "coverage of CSA benefits ASA as well." This is simply a falsehood. Coverage of CSA issues generally has no ASA component in them whatsoever. Organizations that provide CSA services generally do not have ASA services. The mass media is reluctant to cover ASA issues unless it is from the female perspective.

I also refuse to accept the idea of "wait a time with patience." My patience has been exhausted. ASA survivors should not be told to sit, or be content with sitting, in the shadows. I am tired of being ignored. I am tired of being told "we have no services for you." I am tired of continually having to rephrase books to suit my circumstances or hide my trauma so that others may be more comfortable.

I do feel for the victims. It is not a lack of compassion for them. It is simply an issue of parity. Until ASA achieves parity with CSA, adult male survivors will continue to be "second class survivors". Part of the reason this trial received the attention it did was because it was Sandusky AND the victims were children. If the victims had been students at Penn State (or even his own football players) this trial would not have received any attention and may not have gone to trial. The students would have probably been accused of being gay and "wanting it", or "why didn't [the student] defend himself", or some other nonsense. Do these sound familiar to anyone?

In the end, I know the conviction was the right thing. He will be in prison for the rest of his life.

Brian
_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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#402229 - 06/30/12 04:22 PM Re: Sandusky Trial and ASA [Re: LN3(SS)]
J.Bytendorp Offline
User
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/09/09
Posts: 43
Loc: Salt Lake CIty, Utah
Brian,

you bring up a lot of good points, i think that we as ASA survivors need to find ways to use our frustration and anger with the system to create change. I think we need to band together as ASA as well as band together with our CSA brother to create change. We are all MALE SURVIVORS!

Josh Bytendorp

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#402320 - 07/01/12 09:17 PM Re: Sandusky Trial and ASA [Re: LN3(SS)]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
Originally Posted By: Brian
If the victims had been students at Penn State (or even his own football players) this trial would not have received any attention and may not have gone to trial. The students would have probably been accused of being gay and "wanting it", or "why didn't [the student] defend himself", or some other nonsense. Do these sound familiar to anyone?

Yes - indeed they sound familiar. They were among the reasons I never asked for help as a CSA victim.
_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#404351 - 07/22/12 11:53 AM Re: Sandusky Trial and ASA [Re: J.Bytendorp]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 164
im sorry josh i simply don't see it that way. id rather work and be with adults who experienced similar matters.
_________________________
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

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