Welcome to MS.
I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.
You are both in therapy and that is great. It will help both of you immensely. Hopefully you are each seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma and / or sexual abuse. A marriage therapist is not the kind of therapist that will be helpful to either of you.
Same-sex attraction is one of the many consequences of sexual abuse. It is a confusing and troubling experience. Often, if it is acted upon, it is done as a result to try to "master" the abuse that was experienced - to gain a sense of control over it. There is more information about SSA here
The best way to help your husband is to give him information. Just leave the information for him - do NOT ask him if he has "looked" into any of it. When he is ready he will investigate the resources. The same goes for the books. Leave them where he can see them, but do not tell him you bought them for him
. Tell them you bought them because you are interested in learning about the sexual abuse of males - but ONLY say that if it is the truth. If he wants to read them, let him. But do not force him to do so.
You may want to leave the name and web address of this site on a piece of paper for your husband. Do not
ask him if he has visited this site or if he has created an account, to do so is a violation of his privacy. Sometimes it takes people a long time before they join the site. Some will read without ever joining, and some find what is here to be too triggering. If he tells you he has joined, congratulate him for taking a very big step. Do NOT
as him for his screen name.
There are many books written for the significant others of male survivors. I am sure those who frequent the Friends & Family forum will be able to recommend the titles they found most helpful. You will be able to find the books here.
Dealing with this stuff is not easy, not for the survivor, and certainly not for the person who loves him. But it can and does get better. A lot of energy and committment is required to achieve the desired results.
It will be a rough road for each of you, but the rewards are immeasurable.
Avail yourself of the bounty of resources this site has to offer. If you have not found it yet, there is also a chat room (aka: the lounge) which includes a room just for friends and family.
Again, welcome to MS.