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#40072 - 04/22/05 08:39 AM Message in a Bottle Cape Canaveral,FL
andrew76 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 118
Loc: Florida
Had another long day of dealing and coping with everything going on right now within the last week including dealing with health insurance company and dealing with employer which all turned out for the worse today not better.Spouse came home today while I was on phone with employer and the conversation did not go as well as expected got off the phone and just let the phone rip from my hands could not stand any more today just finally hit breaking point.

Then to top everything off I had to deal with the health insurance company today regarding my health,spouse's health and possibility of having a child after trying for three years naturally and nothing happening this conversation was not the greatest in the world either so in essence my day was spent dealing with sh*t that could have been avoided but on the other hand had to be dealt with, very frustrating and very depressing.

I finally told my wife just to leave me alone and let me calm down and what does she do, she gets in my face and demands that I immediatly talk to her, i told her to leave me alone so i could cool off but no go, so i told her I was leaving packed my bags yet again for the second time in less then a week and headed for the ocean specifically Cape Canaveral since it is not but an hours drive from me but not before my spouse slammed the door trying to not let me out of the house when I told her I needed to leave since she won't let me cool off before i talk with her.


Needed time just to cool down and deal with everything that happened today with out my spouse getting all up in my sh*t trying to make me talk when all i needed was time to air out.While out at Cape Canaveral I put everything I wrote this week on this site in a bottle and tossed it as far as the eye could see as a sign of throwing away my problems and just letting them drift off as far as they can go before sinking into oblivian where they will stay hopefully forever or they will stay adrift just like a boat tossed at sea off course.From now on I know there will be highs and lows as with anything in life but I am just along for the ride and where I get off no one person knows not even I know anymore nor do I care or want to care.From this point forward until I decide otherwise I could care less and I don't give a darn anymore. Throw a curve ball at me let it strike me if it breaks me it breaks me if i swing at it and miss oh darn well everyone will just have to throw curve balls faster at me so every one of them hits me and knocks me out so I won't have to be in the game anymore.Just like the old ball slogan "Three strikes and your out instead Three strikes and I walk,Three balls to low and I strike out instead of Three balls and I walk.So tired of dealing with bullsh*t ready to give up and say the hell with everything,ready to leave and go where ever life ends me up.

_________________________


Eye of tiger stares down perp,tiger teeth rips perp to shreds
to be abused kills the soul
to survive is to live the ultimate punishment

Knocking on hells door!!

To be silenced is an American amendment right violation,free speech

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#40073 - 04/22/05 09:43 AM Re: Message in a Bottle Cape Canaveral,FL
LostinPA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 120
Loc: Lancaster, PA
Andrew,
You are not alone in here. We know and have known the frustration of people so close to us of not getting "it". Write, paint, journal, scream secretly into space if you have to but do it for you. That is where your healing might begin, recognizing you have to be first to heal to allow others in you life to fit more comfortably. I am on your side and am sure many others here are as well. You do not face this alone, all of us know how messed up it gets especially in relationships. There is hope if you let us help by words on a screen in here. We all are familiar with "the confusion" and please know you are not alone. You can beat it if you dare, please make every effot to dare for the best there is in you. There is a best so unstoppable or you would not have found this site. I wish you peace and the joy of rest.
Ric

_________________________
LostinPA
Ric

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