I think I have been blocking this out so long I can't remember every detail,but I do remember being 13 or 14 and I had a good friend, my best friend infact and we did everything together and it was cool. I can remeber trying to go to bed one night when there was music playing in the room also. He turned to me and said "are you asleep"? I never responded to him even though I was half awake so he either began to touch me or grind his penis into my butt I can't remember. I still never said anything because I was shocked at what was going on. He then pulled his pants down and began to pull mine down. He then penetrated me anally ,but he spit on his penis first. He always seemed like he knew what he was doing like he done it before. This happened on a few occasions. At my house and at his house.I remember getting off the bus one day and nobody was at my house and he got of the bus with me and I pretended to be asleep so he would do what he did to me again. I must of liked it ,but im not gay. Is that normal???I now have an std because of him for the rest of my life. Why did I never jump up out of bed when he first iniated sexual contact with me??? These are questions that haunt me and I hate myself for not doing anything about it.I feel like half a man.Can anybody help me out