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#402035 - 06/28/12 09:30 AM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
It does get better and it has.

Maybe those if us healing are too silent at times but Asa and CSA does not need to limit in any way who we are.

We are strong proud brave men overcoming a terrible wrong. But we can heal and it does get better.

Thanks to us who are always there for me everyday reminding me through word and action of that what I say is true.

Peace to us all.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#403834 - 07/16/12 08:42 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I took a hard fall. I am dusting myself off. Too much real life drama does that. That's life and we have to deal.

I stared at monsters for the first time in a long time. No fun for us all.

But I used the tools, Therapy, meditation, wife. Peer support, and it helps.

You new guys here need to see it does get better. Its a hard unfair fight but one worth doing.

So please keep at it and please be well all. Above all believe in your recovery and believe always that we were good kids and are good mem.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#403836 - 07/16/12 09:10 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1390
Loc: California
It's gotten a *LOT* better for me.

Gone are the years of self hate and negative self talk, the horrible things I used to think to myself about who I was and what I was worth.

Gone are the weeks and weeks of unending suicidal ideation and horrendous depression.

Gone are the crippling negative beliefs that I can never overcome and I can never achieve my hearts desires.

I still have lots of work to do, oh yes. But I am no longer overwhelmed with all the unrelenting demons that being a survivor of CSA gave me.

I finally feel like I have SOME power over my own destiny, and that has made all the difference.

It gets better. How do I know? I'm walking proof of it.

D


_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#405499 - 08/01/12 08:53 AM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Use the tools as needed we have been taught: Therapy, meds, peer support, journaling, & for those who have it, Faith.

If you stare into the faces of the Monsters who hurt us you will see they were weak, and we are really the strong ones who have the courage & will win.

Remind yourself it can and does get better, because it does.

Quietly but daily I see men here who are now true friends, constantly exceed their own expectations of recovery and get from life everything they truly deserve.

Take time to celebrate yourself. Make time for fun as well.

Especially to the new men here, be one of those men who are winning the fight...It does get better.

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#405520 - 08/01/12 12:27 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 07:45 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#407140 - 08/17/12 10:02 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
At times when I read the forum I get sad for the collective pain we all have to endure to recover fully. I see new names here and I wonder how is it so many of us could have been hurt as kids. I literally pray at night there be no new survivors.

But I believe in recovery though I know it's hard.

I know there is a silent # of us healing and thriving too. Some of those silent members are very close friends to me now. They are doing really good but yeah, with speed bumps along the way. Its part of the proces, but climb higher after each bump.

Peer support can be so awesome. Please find someone here who will be with you on good ones and tough ones too.

Gents, please stay strong and please believe it can get better. No matter what your burden is today realize courage sometimes is saying I will try again tomorrow.

Be well all.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#408120 - 08/27/12 05:10 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
There is a profound post up these on "What did we Loose".

I respect the thought, have felt it badly at times too.

It gets better when we consider instead, WHAT DID WE GAIN.

I'm just a survivor like us all. I realize we tend to make similar mistakes, have similar side effects, etc.

But in recovery I gained back a sense of self value, could see clearly I am a very good & loyal husband, have been shown here by a guy my kids age that I am a great dad, and have had a chance in recovery to help some very fine people here, and help people all around my home.

I never credit abuse or recovery for the good things we do. I think those steps come natural to us because we were good kids and are good men.

But I credit recovery for letting me see clearly that the good in us can overcome the hurt abuse left behind.

I still say it does get better. I hope it does for us all.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#408122 - 08/27/12 05:14 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Great post Kb
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#408129 - 08/27/12 06:42 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039
Yes, thanks for being a cheerleader. We all needed that.

We're stronger than our abuse.
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#409823 - 09/11/12 10:23 AM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
My son's close friend lost his Dad on 9-11. The boys were 10 that year.

His pal has become a survivor in his own way, and some of the effects familar to us show in this young man along the way.

But he's a strong man today doing well at a great university.

I've always been real proud of the way my son and his pals supported this man from the moment 11 years ago today we got the call that his dad was missing @ WTC.

Behind my back this guy, my son, & crew call me the "back-up Dad", and I hate that because I hate the need for someone to step in for his Dad. I hate it a lot.

But I'm real proud of his pal and often I remind myself that if he can overcome his own terrible loss at the age of 10, so can I.

So even on 9-11 here in NYC I can say that it does get better.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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